The Hunger Games: Annie Cresta

Chapter 9

I wait on one of the couches in the sitting room adjacent to the dining hall. The scores would be out tonight and my appetite diminished quicker than the others. That was my reason, but I just didn’t want to be in Finnick’s presence yet. I don’t know how long I could keep avoiding him. I have only a few days left in the Capitol. It shouldn’t be too difficult.

Facing him would be like facing my own fear. The fear to change inside that arena is something that never leaves my head. I don’t know who I might become once inside, and I don’t know who I would be, given the chance that I would get to live after. There are too many possibilities that will arise inside the arena. I’ll just have to wait and see what happens.

I didn’t even think of my session with the Gamemakers. I just let the same feelings I had with the trident earlier this morning rush through me. I did nothing else but wield it. I can only hope that I have impressed them even half as much as I impressed the trainers and that one Gamemaker earlier this morning.

I hear footsteps and I turn to see Mags, at her slow pace and looking grave. She sits down beside me and says, “Finnick has told me about offending you last night.”

I sigh and look back at the blank screen. I’m just waiting for my results and then I will be heading to bed. There is no will to differ from that plan of mine.

“Are you going to defend the way he acted now?” I only feel exhausted, physically and emotionally.

“No,” Mags says steadily, her eyes focused on me. “I just want you to understand that every victor is still under the power of the Capitol, however high they are put on a pedestal.”

I look at Mags. I can’t help but wonder what horrors that Capitol can make victors undergo. They have already forced them to kill other children in an arena, and their rewards are glory and riches. What has Mags endured as a victor? I don’t think I can truly understand their disposition, unless I am included in their ranks.

“It’s difficult to know the difference of reality and acting,” Mags says. “Finnick is one of the most popular of the victors and is still heavily adored. He has to endure more than most of us. Spare him your judgments. That’s all I can say about the matter.”

“I don’t look at him not because I feel disgust,” I explain myself to her. “I can’t look at him because I fear that it may be my future that I’m looking at.”

“You’ll have to tell him that yourself, because he feels very upset.”

“Not tonight. I won’t face him tonight.”

Mags takes my hand and looks at me with what I think is pity. “You will soon realize that there is always such few time for anyone.”

I stay quiet as the television automatically switches on. Isla, Finnick. Danny. Maxima and Alta all enter, anticipating the scores. I haven’t told them about mine. I can only hope that I did a good job of it.

I don’t really pay attention to any of it. I just wait until my face is shown when I finally look. It’s a 9. I breathe out a sigh of relief. That’s better than what I was expecting, given my poor participation in acting like a Career. Predictably, Danny gets a 10.

Maxima blurts out, “Well, I didn’t think you had that in you. I would have thought you were one of the first dead!”

Everyone stares at her, probably thinking that she’s crazy. I just look down at the floor. They have finally examined my skills, and they can finally assess just how much of a chance I have inside. I’m not completely hopeless.

They stay and watch the rest of the tributes, but I tune it all out. It won’t really matter what scores they have. They’re for the sponsors anyway. I don’t think that it really matters if I know who got low or high. It really just matters what we do inside the arena.

Champagne is brought out and they start to celebrate. I can’t find anything to celebrate in it. After one glass where I sip only a few, I slip out of the room.

Finnick follows me out, but I don’t realize this until he calls my name when we’re both alone in the hallway.

I look at him and he goes forward. I take a step back for every step he makes. He realizes this and he stops.

“Look, Annie. I’m…sorry how I treated you yesterday. If you’ll only let me explain—“

“I can’t tonight, Finnick. Just…leave it.”

He calls me one more time, but I rush into my bedroom and lean behind the door once I’m inside. He knocks a few times and calls my name, but I ignore it. I don’t leave the door until I hear his footsteps fading outside.

I enter the shower and just keep the water running. I sit on the floor with my clothes still on. I close my eyes and bury my head in my hands. I click the settings for there to be a sound of the ocean. There. This feels better. I could just be sitting in the sand with a light drizzle as the ocean waves lap on the shore. I can almost believe that I’m back home when I close my eyes.

Remember home.

I can get sponsors with a 9. I can. I can get out of there alive.

What about Danny?

What are the odds that we would end up killing each other though? I don’t see it. I don’t think that’s going to happen. If anything, I’ll be the first to die and hopefully, he’ll avenge my death and win the whole thing.

And if he dies? What would happen to me?

I couldn’t answer the question. It would either shatter me or bring out the wrath in me. I couldn’t be sure which of the two.

I just knew that it wouldn’t be pretty.