emails from me

email two.

to: lane
from: me
subject: i have no one's shirt to unbutton but my own.

email two.

a list of things i miss about my lane;
a list by aspen:

-i miss your toes and the way they'd curl into my legs while we slept together.
-i miss having the right to call you my lane but i'm obviously still doing it. i just shouldn't.
-i miss your scrambled eggs and cheese that you'd make whenever i slept over because you know i love it.
-i miss the park you took me on for our first date,
-and the swings i made you push me on because i never learned to do it myself.
-i miss the freckle beside your left ear- yes, that is what i was always running my thumb across.
-i miss the way you'd try to match my socks occordingly and how you'd sigh at me when i undid them and mis-matched them again before i put them on.
-i miss you kissing my nose when i'm sad. [my nose is going through wicked withdrawals.]
-i miss the way you'd sneak chapstick into my bag when my lips got rough from chewing on them.
-i miss sophia- okay, that's not something i miss about you.
i miss the way you'd sing sophia to sleep, and the way you'd blush pink when you saw me watching in the doorway.
truth is, i listened in every night, you just didn't always catch me.
-i miss you tinkering with that goddawful truck of yours. [some of my clothes are still stained with grease from your slimy hugs.]
-i miss your protective stance you'd get whenever you took me to my dad's and the way your hand was always touching me somewhere-my wrist, my lower back, my waist.
-i miss the annoyed look you'd shoot me when i hid your things-your watch [who even carries a watch these days? my grandpa that's who.], your left shoe, your glasses that you need to read [god, you are just like a grandpa.]
-i miss our home.
our little baby, teeny, tiny home.
where i was forced [okay, not forced] into sleeping in the same bed as you.
where i made you bring me breakfast before we went to the hell we called school.
where we made love for the first time [god, i'm still surprised we made it to the bedroom.]
-i miss helping you button up your shirts when we went somewhere nice-
okay, that's a lie.
i miss helping you unbutton your shirts when we got back from going somewhere nice.
-i miss the way even my finger tips and my toes ached for your touch. [well, they still do that, but you're not here to fix it.]
-i miss staring at you when you fell asleep while we were watching one of my soap operas that you despise so much.
-i miss the way you tied my shoes because you're ridiculously nervous of me falling,
i know you'd catch me though, just as you did when i fell for you.-
though a bit late,
but you've made up for it in so many ways.
technically, i caught you when i fell for you. [you were drunk and clumsy] [apparently i'm into that.]

fuck this didn't help anything, i only miss you about three million and twelve times more than i already did.

i won't go on because i feel like you'd yell at me for doing something that makes my stomach hurt, and that's all this is equating to.

-me

••

a/n

this is probably one of my favorite chapters of lane and aspen tbh

my favorite parts are the [un]buttoning shirt and the falling for you (the last one)

what's your favorite part?

any guesses why aspen left?

please vote and comment! can we get to four hundred? please :)