Whole Grain Bread and Other Musings

Your Nose is Big

In an innocent band classroom far away, there stood two percussionists, a girl and a boy. The girl held a tambourine; the boy, two blocks of wood that made a very loud clapping sound when slapped together. The girl was chewing gum, even though she wasn't supposed to.

They were playing a song, and the girl was focusing on hitting the tamborine on the offbeat. She had just realized that she needed to listen to the low brass and woodwinds if she wanted to really nail it, since they played on beats one and three and she played on beats two and four. She was chewing gum to the beat as well, which helped some.

The boy noticed this. At the end of the song, after he slapped the two blocks of wood together, he approached her as she put the tambourine away.

"You're weird, you know," he told her.

The girl was used to behavior like his now, so she wasn't fazed. "Indeed I am," she replied. "What of it?"

"You chew gum to the beat."

This was new information for the girl. She had never even thought about the gum while she'd been concentrating and playing. "Is that so?"

"Yeah. It's really weird. Maybe you shouldn't chew gum when you play."

The girl gave him an incredulous look while he continued, "You look really funny like that, too. Your eyes are all focused up front and stuff, and then your jaw is chewing to the beat."

The girl gave the boy a narrowed look. "So?"

"It's weird. No. You're weird."

The girl retorted, "Your nose is big." It was the only thing she could think of.

Immediately his hands flew to his nose and his eyes widened. "It is not!" he protested.

The girl suddenly grinned; she had stuck a nerve she hadn't even known was there. "Oh, but it is."

"It's not."

"Keep tellin' yerself that. But it is rather... large."

He stormed away in a huff, and the girl laughed maniacally behind him. She had won the petty argument, again.