Chapter 3

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So, school is back so I won't have as much time to write, but I'll try to put a new chapter every day! I can't promise anything though...

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Jade's POV

"Jade..."

Someone shakes me.

"Jade, wake up!"

The person shakes me harder. I don't want to wake up... I feel someone grab me... and fling me out of bed, I land on my back. Ouch.

"Finally!" Louis says looking down on me. Liam, Niall, Zayn and Harry are laughing their asses off. I groan and rub the sleep out of my eyes. "You missed breakfast."

"I don't care." I say sleepy and sit up. I check the time. 11.56. Holy shit I'm late. I rush to the bathroom, grab some clothes on the way and wash my face as fast as I can. I get my clothes on and  put up my hair in a ponytail.

"Let's go."

~~

We've been practicing dance moves for 2 hours now and I haven't eaten anything since yesterday. I'm starving, but I don't complain.

The boys order pizza. They keep telling me to take a piece but I can't. I won't. But I don't want them to figure out what I'm doing. But I can't eat.

Yes you can. A voice says in my head. You can just get rid of it later. They'll never find out...

Even though I shouldn't be listening to it, I couldn't hold back. I took a pizza slice and ate it. Mmm... I't was so good. But then I realized what I've done. Oh my god... 

"What's wrong J.D?" Zayn said. He must have seen the look on my face.

"Nothing, I'm fine. Just... gotta pee." I say and rushed to the toilet.

I locked the door behind me and bent over the toilet shoving my fingers down my throat. Again. And again. Until my stomach was empty again. Tears started running down my face and I sat on the bathroom floor with my back to the wall, catching my breath.

I got rid of every piece of evidence, and went back to the boys. They'd finished eating and had cleaned up. Was I in the toilet for that long?

We go back to the hotel to get out of our sweaty clothes and relax. It's been a rough day. We all snuggle up on the couch to watch some TV, but nothing good is on.

"Let's play truth or dare." Niall suddenly says. All the boys agree.

We sit in a circle on the floor.

"I wanna start!" Zayn says. "Hmm... J.D truth or dare?"

Shit.

"Uhh... dare." I say, biting the inside of my cheek.

"I dare you to... only wear a one piece everyday for a whole week." He says with an evil grin.

"Easy." I say grinning back. "Only, there's a little problem... I don't have a one piece."

"But we do." Louis says grinning even wider than Zayn. He gets up and after a couple of minutes he comes back with a purple one piece in his hands.

I sat there with my mouth open, looking like an idiot.

"We thought we'd give it to you as a welcome gift but we wasn't sure you'd like it." Liam says.

I didn't really mind wearing it for a whole week, I actually liked it. I wouldn't need to show my fat body, I could walk around in that for a whole month! But I couldn't tell them that, could I?

"You guys are mental.." I say, grabbing it out of his hands. I turn to Niall. "Niall, truth or dare?"

"Truth." He says without even thinking about it. I give him a devilish smile.

"Is it true that you have a crush on Demi Lovato?" I say slowly. The look on his face is priceless. Just when he's about to answer Liam's phone rings.

"Just a second guys..." He goes in to another room while taking his phone out. Five minutes later he comes out.

"Well?" Louis asks.

"It was our manager, he booked a flight to Australia. We're leaving in two days." He says.

"How long are we staying?" Harry asks.

"A week, we've got alot to do."

That means I'm gonna be alone here. For a whole week. They all turn their faces to me.

"It's fine, I'll be okay." I say waving my hands. "It's not like I can stop you from going."

Zayn gets up. "We should probably start packing..." The other boys gets up walk to their rooms. Except Louis. He comes over and sits next to me. He takes a deep breath.

"Jade..." He says and looks at me. "If you ever feel down, or have a problem or anything, you know you can always come to me or any of the other boys. We are here to offer you help whenever you need it." He says. I look down.

I want to tell him. I really do. But I feel like if I start to eat again, I'll loose control. I remember what happened last time, I don't want it to happen again. I really want to tell him, I want them to know. He stands up and leaves me with my thoughts.

I need help, I want help. But I'm too scared. All theese confusing emotions. I don't know what to do. I hate my self, I'm so disgusting. I don't want to feel like this. Tears start to well up. You know how to make these feelings disappear. The voice says. I don't want to do it. But I hate these feeling, I have to get rid of it.

I go to my room and in to the bathroom. I lock the door and look for something sharp. I find a razor blade. Perfect.

3 cuts. Then I go to sleep.

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I've planned alot for the next chapters so brace yourselves! :) x

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