The Purge: Harry Styles (Book 1)

Chapter 8.

A/N
not edited so might be terrible:)

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Isolated. I feel isolated. It's like I'm a zoo animal, in a cage, that has no exit. I can't go out without being exposed, I can't do what I used to do without being taken away or killed. This is a world that I can no longer control what happens. This is something that no one can control.

I've been in this house for three days. Three fucking days, only leaving for a few hours. It's so captivating that I feel like I'm in a mental institution. There's no where to just go and walk around-besides the woods of course, but that's beyond the point-.

They all try to make this situation better but we all know, this will never end. It was never guaranteed that we'd just be going through this 'experiment' for seventy two hours.

I've been staring at the shower wall for thirty minutes, someone knocking on the door every now and then to ask if I'm okay, me replying with a simple 'yes'. I have my legs against my chest and my chin laying on top of my knees.

I feel so numb, numb from the cold water, the heartbreak, and I feel as if I'm already dead. This experiment wasn't to just test us, it was to kill us. They want to see how long we'll last. The average human can only take so much, whether it's the emotional, or physical pain, humans can't handle it all.

And that's why we're doing this. They're testing our wits.

This is where I begin wishing I could have already been dead before this. I wouldn't be experiencing the turmoil I'm going through right now and I would have never met Harry. I wish, my parents were here. No matter the mistakes they made, I miss them and it's been a while since I've said that.

I'm lost without them, I have been ever since and I've come to that conclusion. I've never wanted to admit it.

"Mom," I whisper, only loud enough for me to hear "Hi." I close my eyes "I'm sorry, I'm not who you wanted me to be. I didn't become the little girl you made me to be." Tears filled my closed eyes. "I did the exact opposite, but I thought that it was okay. I had to do it right? Right mom?" I feel as if I'm going crazy "If I didn't do it, I could have died and I'd rather have that than be who I am now." I sniff, my feelings getting ahead of my brain. "God dammit mom! Why couldn't you just let me-" I couldn't finish my sentence before my hand connects with the wall beside me, creating a loud echoing noise throughout the bathroom.

My biggest disappointment is me. That's all it's ever been.

"Spencer?" Someone says out the door, knocking slightly "Are you okay?"

I wipe my eyes and cough to clear up my voice "yeah, yeah I'm fine." I get up, turning off the water and grabbing a towel to dry off, stepping out.

"Are you sure?" It's Niall.

"Yeah, I'm positive Niall." I care for Niall, not the way I do Harry, but to me now he's like a genuine friend of mine. He cares for me as if I'm a sister to him.

"Okay, hey i will see you tomorrow alright?" He says quietly.

"Okay." I say back, slipping on my clothes and brushing my tangled hair and brushing my teeth. I walk out of the bathroom, almost going into my previous room until I remembered Kendall was in there.

"About time," someone mumbles beside me, bumping shoulders with me and walking into the bathroom.

"Shut up." I say to her, not excepting her attitude.

"Oh please, you can't tell me what to do." She rolls her eyes "But what you can do is stay away from Harry."

"It's not like he has a 'no trespassing', sign on him." I sarcastically remark, earning me a glare.