The Land of the Lithe (boyxboy and girlxboy)

Chapter 10- Monster

A/N: Hey guys, here's a short chapter on Olian's POV. It's a little sad but I think it's valuable information to know what he was thinking when Electra came to visit him.

Thanks for reading :)

Olian’s POV

          It had been three days since the human girl came to visit me in my cell. I keep staring at the scratches on my forearms where she attempted to pry my hands off of her neck. What an idiot she is. A stupid, weak idiot. I cannot believe that I didn’t kill her. It was agonizing to drop my hands from her windpipe.

            The curse makes my chest feel as though I’m burning from the inside out. I can feel its anger traveling through my veins. That is, if I don’t do what it wants. It wanted me to strangle her. It felt happy; I felt happy squeezing the life from her. It felt right, up until that wretched smile crossed her face. Who smiles when they’re dying? That smile made everything feel wrong. It’s not fun if she wanted to die.

            Fighting the curse makes me feel as though I’m going to implode. My ribcage will collapse inward and my organs and lifeblood will spill out in a blistering mess, like lava from a volcano.

            When I finally overcame over the curse my mark felt like a fresh burn. It turned black again, as black as coal or charred skin. An ugly reminder.

            I slept for two days straight after fighting it. It sucks the energy out of me. It’s stunted my growth. I know it’s slowly killing me. The healers refuse to end my life. They keep feeding me and giving me medicine, keeping me alive when it would be best for everyone if I was dead.

            When Kye saw the scratches the human made on my arms she thought I did them to myself. She offered me restraints at night but I said no. Well, what I actually said was, ‘It’s not physical restraints I need.’

            Sometimes I feel as though I am slipping off the earth. It’s tilting and I can barely hold on. What happens when I don’t hold on? I fall. I hate to admit it, but I am terrified of that fall. It’s because I know what I’m falling into. I’ve been there before, when the curse takes over. It is a blank slate. Nothingness. There is no colour, and no sound. Only solitude and pain. Burning searing pain. It’s inescapable, and it terrifies me. Imagine being scared of nothing.

            I was surprised when the human girl came near me after I attempted to kill her. Even the healers don’t get that close to me. It’s as if they think I’m going to snap any second and try to kill them. No one spends more than a few minutes in my room. Not after what I did to Kyan, Kye’s brother.

            This girl is different from those elves. She doesn’t look at me with fear in her eyes or disgust in her expression. It’s as if I can still feel her cool palm against my fiery chest. She stared at me with her red face and streaming eyes and told me I’m strong, and I hated myself. I tried to kill her and she’s comforting me? I don’t deserve it. I am a monster. Can’t she see that?

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