craving - n.j.h

twenty

"Why does he always have to come around at times like this?!" Niall spoke harshly as he slammed the door shut behind him. He sat me down on the bed and let go of my wrist, ran his fingers through his messy hair and down his face in frustration before taking a deep breath.

We were upstairs in a large, luxorious bedroom with a faint sound of the music from downstairs playing.

"I told you to stay close to me.." He said, sounding quite annoyed. "You shouldn't be left alone in places like this!"

I opened my mouth to say something but I couldn't put my thoughts into words correctly. I was boiling with anger and I felt emotionally drained because of Jason's recent presence. And most of all I had too much alcohol in my veins, which made everything even worse. Everything felt distant and nothing seemed right. I shut my eyes trying to get myself together again. Seeing Jason again was too much for me.

"Fuck..." He whispered quietly from across the room. I opened my eyes to see him stand leaning up agianst the wall with his elbow pressed against the surface and his head hanging down. "All I did was come out and check on you and there you are, with Jason all over you!" He yelled and slammed his fist into the wall.

"Shit..Niall!" I let out, standing up from the bed and was overwhelmed by a sudden instability because of how intoxicated I was. I steadied myself by holding onto the end of the bed as my head was aching and everything was spinning; But what ached the most is my heart and mind. I am completely drained.

"I swear I am going to fucking slit his throat!" His voice was low and raspy and his accent was thicker than ever, just like that night I met him. He was intimidating, but I rushed over to him as he raised his fist to punch another hole in the wall. I grabbed his arm, trying to stop him.

"Niall, please.." I pleaded to make him stop. Wow, I didn't even think I was able to say anything or even stand up in my drunken state. How did I manage to do this?

Niall's eyes darted to my figure and I noticed how angry he really was. His eyebrows was furrored in frustration and his chest was rising up and down from his heavy breathing. I suddenly felt his muscles relax under his skin and he lowered his fist, letting it fall to his side. I let go of his arm and held my breath, worried what his next move might be. What if he abuses me instead?

"Sorry.." I squeaked and took a few steps back. Niall shut his eyes and once again ran his hands through his hair - a thing he does very often - and to my relief he sighed instead of screaming at me.

"No.. It's not your fault. I'm just mad because I wasn't there when he saw you. That prick doesn't even have the right to speak to you." Niall said firmly with disgust in his voice and I noticed how his arm muscles tensed, probably from trying to control himself from hitting that wall again.

It suddenly felt like the whole world spun around. I reached out for something to hold on to as it felt like I was going to fall over. I plastered my fingers to Niall's arm and let out a loud groan.

"I.. I think I'll have to.. sit down." I slurred, putting my palm my my forehead. What the hell was in that drink?

I found my way over to the bed again and sat down, cupping my face with my hands. Jason is here, he could be anywhere. What if he is looking for me? I hate how I am constantly worrying if he is around. He is always in the back of my mind, and probably always will be. I loathe the thought of always being haunted by him in my mind.

"This fucking night." I whispered to myself, feeling the tears build up in my eyes. I will definately try to avoid parties like this in the future, the alcohol just makes me so emotionally vulnerable and unstable.
Niall sat down next to me on the bed and locked his eyes on me as he kept quiet. I closed my eyes a tear ran down my cheek and I tried to swallow my sobs. I don't want to break down in front of Niall, but this time I couldn't hold it back. In less that one minute I was violently sobbing as the tears streamed down my cheeks.