The Shabby barbie

VII

Video Dairy

Hello Poppy, I’m extremely sorry for ignoring you for the past two days. The fact was I had a terrible fever and I couldn’t even stand.

She feels tired and sits on her bed, while holding the camera in one hand.

I feel bad about being mean to Aaric on that day. Two days are over but I couldn’t go to college due to my fever, I really wish I could apologize. Will Aaric forgive me? Will he take revenge instead? Will I be able to convince him? I don’t know Poppy. Anyway I promise you I won’t slap or hurt people again.

She ducks her face inside her palms.

Chris called me yesterday, as we thought the cancer hasn’t spread. Thank God.

Yesterday something really awkward happened. While I was resting on my bed, Mum was doing a video chat with Aunt Alcy on Facebook, all of a sudden she stopped and came and asked me whether I was a virgin. I was dumbstruck and couldn’t answer her first. Why did she ask me such a question?  God knows.

Poppy I’m tad tired watching the same dreams again and again, either the small boy or the grey eyes or the accident.

She keeps her hand on her forehead.

Please a new one. So, until we meet again, bye.

****

“Mum, I’m going to college.” I screamed as I slammed the front door.

“Don’t act like a teenager, hun.”  That was the last thing I heard as I walked outside.

I use public transport system and my own-most-energy-efficient-transport system, walking. As soon as I entered college, I saw Aaric leaning on his car. He was talking with some guys.

“Thank God. He has come.”  I told under my breath. I waved at him but he ignored me, a typical guy’s behavior when the girl who slapped him wants to befriend him.

I decided I’d talk with him when I meet him in the cafeteria. I hurried into our Music room. I waved at Dawn and the band but all of them were ignoring me.  Whatever, Fuchsia can live without friends so it doesn’t matter me much.

We rehearsed for almost four hours and decided to take a break. I finally made up my mind to talk with Dawn but he left the place as soon as he saw me coming to him. What the fuck is wrong with everyone?

I went to cafeteria and spotted Aaric with Caro, Mia, Josh and Drake. There was an empty chair around their table so I went and sat in it.

“I hope you’d room for one more.”

“Definitely not.” Caroline pouted.

“Oh don’t be a bitchy best friend, Caro. I still love you guys and I’m..” I turned towards Aaric who was looking at ‘infinity’, that’s what a physics student would tell.  “I’m really sorry Aaric.” I almost cried because I really felt guilty.

“Just get lost. I don’t want to hear your ‘Sorry’ and don’t expect me to melt again. You’re a slut. A slut and nothing else.” 

“I’d have slapped you but I had promised I wouldn’t.”

“Oh, you keep promises? Eh?”  I hurried out and went back to the music room. If I’d stayed there long, I would definitely have cried in front of everyone. I have enough of problems but still God enjoys seeing me suffer more and more.  I wiped the tears off. I saw Dawn in the doorway. I followed him. I’m not a stalker but I wanted to know what was wrong with everyone. I’m just the curious type.

“What is wrong with you? You’ve been stalking me for the past twenty minutes.” He finally turned towards me.

“Hi Dawn.”  I gave him the best smile I could ever display on my face.

“Hi Fuchsia.” He mumbled slightly.

“Will it be a problem that I took two day offs from Red Cross?”

“No. You told them the reason right?”

“Yeah, I told them I was sick.”

“Fine.” He put an end to the conversation which I was trying hard to continue.

“What do you mean by ‘fine’? I didn’t want to stop or let him go, so I threw back a question.

“Then what are you expecting me to say when you said you were sick.”

“Well let’s not beat around the bush.”

“Who do you think is beating around it? Me or you?”  I was startled. Me? I haven’t done any wrong.

“Dawn, I don’t exactly understand why everyone is mad at me. “

“You don’t know? Are you kidding? How could you? Eww..I thought you were a decent type.”

 “Excuse me, I’d like to know what I have done which made you think I’m indecent? I’d slapped Aaric because he was acting like a psycho.” 

"Psycho? Him? Fuchsia stop your fucking act. Now we all know the 'REAL' you." 

"Huh? I don't get you. I'm not lying, promise."

"Shut up. You see this?" He did something on his smart phone and gave it to me. "You're caught Fuchsia, we all now know your dirty secret. Your dirty side." 

I looked onto the screen and my eyes widened. My heartbeats and breath rate increased. My hands and feet were equally weak. I closed my eyes. I prayed to God that what I saw was just a illusion. Then slowly I opened my eyes and looked at the screen, praying that my mind was playing tricks on me. But hell no! It wasn't an illusion nor was it a trick. This is not happening. This isn't reality, it might be a dream. I can't believe what I saw. I just CAN'T. Tears were running down my cheek. I poked and pinched myself to wake up from this nightmare. But it did not work because it was REALITY. It was a FACT. But how can it be a fact? Now I know why Mum asked me such a question. Now I know why Aaric was mad at me. Now I know why all ignored me. 

[A/N I thought of stopping it here but I'm not because you'd eat my ears and spend your whole time thinking what happened. So for this good heart of mine, a vote please ;)]

"Only for those who can pay." I read the lines texted below the photograph.

"NO! NO! NOOO" I screamed as I threw the phone onto the floor and ran. 

What? Do you think I'm crazy? Do you think I'm a weirdo? Whatever. Well people, what do you expect a girl to do when she sees her naked photo on Internet. Now don't tell me you expect me to sing or dance or party. Oh Jesus! I wish that no other girl has my fate. 

I saw Anna staring at me. She quickly twitched her lips into a smirk. Now that I don't have the self esteem I can't argue. 

I can't believe I just saw a half naked photo of mine on his smart phone and it'd gone viral on the internet. What the fuq! How can that happen? Am I being cheated? Is this a trap? Was that 'short term memory' thing true? 

 Mum saw it. I can't think of being with her. I'm broken. I don't want to live anymore. I've lost everything now. I closed my eyes only to hear the people call me 'slut'. What will I do now? 

'Suicide?' My inner voice asked. 

_______________________________

I'm tired. I've been typing on my laptop because my tab fell and the screen broke :'( 

I know it's kinda like every chapter has a new problem arising, forgive please I don't have time to do filler chapter :/. Besides, I need to complete this before April. So bear the mistakes and everything. :) 

March=Exaaaam time. Please pray. I need A* in all subjects xD

Esha