Reawakening

Chapter Twenty-Two

Tris

This day, the first time around, I woke up in Tobias's apartment, just as I do today.  But this time is different.

This time, I'm not black and blue.  This time, Tobias and I have already shared our deepest secrets.  This time, I am wrapped in Tobias's arms, his bare chest pressed against my t-shirt covered back, our legs tangled together.

The clock turns from 6:29 to 6:30, and the alarm blares.  Tobias's breathing changes abruptly from its slow-and-steady cadence as I reach out and slam my open hand down on the alarm, evidently hitting the right button somewhere in there, because the noise stops.

Tobias doesn't let go of me as I roll in his arms to face him, untangling our legs only to tangle them again from a different position.  "Morning."  His voice is thick and hoarse with sleep, and his eyes only half open, but his face is content, his lips forming a small smile.  His arms tighten around my back, holding onto me like I will float away if he lets go.

"Morning."  I nuzzle my head into the crook of his neck, letting out a contented sigh.  "You can't imagine how much I've missed this."

"I could certainly get used to it," he responds before resting his lips against my forehead.

We are nearing the end of initiation.  Today should be the day Tobias will explain the fear landscape to us.  We only have a few days left before the fear landscapes, then the attack will occur early the following morning.

We don't have a plan, and we haven't warned the Abnegation.

"Tobias," I say into his neck.  "I want us to visit my parents tonight."  

-------------------------------------------------------------

It has only been a little more than two weeks since I saw my father, and a week or so since I last saw my mother, but it feels like a lifetime.  In the past few months, I've only had moments with them... moments before I came back, moments the day of the Aptitude Test and Choosing Ceremony, moments on Visiting Day with my mother.  So much has happened to me since I last really spent time with them, and I have learned so much.  I am a different person, and they are different people through my eyes.  

It wasn't until I was at the Bureau, hearing about how they met and reading my mother's journals, that I realized just how little I knew them.  It was as though they went from just being parents... to being people-- people I did not think I would ever have the opportunity to truly know.  Maybe now, that can change.  But only if we make it change.

Tobias squeezes my hand as we walk through the dark streets of monotonous, uniform gray concrete houses.  Uriah walks on my other side, patting my shoulder or rubbing my back gently here and there, giving me occasional understanding, encouraging smiles.  They both know that I am nervous about this meeting.

We pause where the short pathway to the door meets the cracked concrete sidewalk.  I close my eyes for a moment and take a deep breath, reminding myself that I told my mother I would come when I could.  She won't be surprised to see me.  She doesn't care about the factions, I tell myself.  I'm her daughter, and she loves me.  She will be happy to see me.

I open my eyes and stare for just a moment at the gray front door that I walked through every day for sixteen years, before turning my head to meet Tobias' reassuring gaze.  I nod to him, and together the three of us approach the front door.  I knock slowly, three times, and wait.

Soon, too soon, before I am really ready, the door swings open.

"B-- Tris," my mother says with a fond smile, gently pressing a warm hand to the cool skin of my cheek before stepping back and ushering her in with a small sweeping wave of her hand.  "Come in, all of you, please."