Reawakening

Prologue

Author's Note:  This begins at Chapter 50 of Allegiant.  I do not own divergent or its characters.  Any words that you recognize from the original books are not my own.  Thanks for reading! 

Tris

"My mother wasn't a fool," I say.  "She just understood something you didn't.  That it's not sacrifice if it's someone else's life you're giving away, it's just evil."

I back up another step and say, "She taught me all about real sacrifice.  That it should be done from love, not misplaced disgust for another person's genetics.  That it should be done from necessity, not without exhausting all other options.  That it should be done for people who need your strength because they don't have enough of their own.  That's why I need to stop you from 'sacrificing' all those people and their memories.  Why I need to rid the world of you once and for all."

I shake my head.

"I didn't come here to steal anything, David."

I twist and lunge toward the device.  The gun goes off and pain races through my body.  I don't even know where the bullet hit me.

I can still hear Caleb repeating the code for Matthew.  With a quaking hand I type in the numbers on the keypad.

The gun goes off again.

More pain, and black edges on my vision, but I hear Caleb's voice speaking again.  The green button.

So much pain.

But how, when my body feels so numb?

I start to fall, and slam my hand into the keypad on my way down.  A light turns on behind the green button.

I hear a beep, and a churning sound.

I slide to the floor.  I feel something warm on my neck, and under my cheek.  Red.  Blood is a strange color.  Dark.

And from the corner of my eye, I see David slumped over in his chair.

And my mother walking out from behind him.

She is dressed in the same clothes she wore the last time I saw her, Abnegation gray, stained with her blood, with bare arms to show her tattoo.  There are still bullet holes in her shirt; through them I can see her wounded skin, red but no longer bleeding, like she's frozen in time.  Her dull blond hair is tied back in a knot, but a few loose strands frame her face in gold.

I know she can't be alive, but I don't know if I'm seeing her now because I'm delirious from the blood loss or if the death serum has addled my thoughts or if she is here in some other way.

She kneels next to me and touches a cool hand to my cheek.

"Hello, Beatrice," she says and she smiles.

"Am I done yet?" I say, and I'm not sure if I actually say it or if I just think it and she hears it.

"Yes," she says, her eyes bright with tears.  "My dear child, you've done so well."

"What about the others?" I choke on a sob as the image of Tobias comes into my mind, of how dark and how still his eyes were, how strong and warm his hand was, when we first stood face-to-face.  "Tobias, Caleb, my friends?"

"They'll care for each other," she says.  "That's what people do."

I smile and close my eyes.

I feel a thread tugging on me again, but this time I know it isn't some sinister force dragging me toward death.

This time I know it's my mother's hand, drawing me into her arms.

I feel another thread tugging the other way.  Tugging me back to Tobias, to Caleb, to my friends.  I am pulled between the two, wanting to go both ways at once.

But I am so tired, and the thread tugging the other way slips from my hand.  I fall into my mother's embrace.

Can I be forgiven for all I've done to get here?

I want to be.

I can.

I believe it.

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I am surrounded by white.  White light, white beneath me, white around me.  I smile at my mother, then turn to see my father is here too.  I run to his embrace.

But this is wrong.  I've missed my family so much, but I left family that still needs me behind.  Yes, they'll take care of each other, but Tobias...

I was always told that there are no tears in heaven.  If heaven is where I am now, then that isn't true.  I didn't want to leave him.  I don't want to have left him.  What have I done?  I wasn't strong enough.  Will I ever be at peace?

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Uriah

I am surrounded by black.  It feels like it has been an eternity; it feels like no time at all.  Sometimes I can hear voices.  I can't make out what they are saying, but I know they are talking to me.  Tris.  Christina.  Cara.  Four.

Today there are more voices.  Mom.  Zeke.

Voices, and tears.  So many tears.  Even Zeke.  I'm no longer surrounded entirely by black.  Ahead of me, I finally see light.  Just a pinprick.  But it steadily grows as the voices steadily fade, as if they're farther and farther away, until I can't hear them at all, and I'm surrounded by white instead of black.  White all around, and straight ahead I see Tris with a man and woman in blood-stained Abnegation gray clothing.  The woman isn't wearing her robes, just pants and a tank top, and she has tattoos on her arms.  Her arms are wrapped around Tris, whose body shakes in sobs.

"Tris?" I say.  "Where are we?  What happened?"

Tris abruptly stops sobbing, though she still hiccups in the aftermath.  Her eyes are red and swollen, but wide, her mouth dropped open in an O.  My eyes, however, are drawn to three gunshot wounds in her stomach, side and near her collarbone.  It's then that I know where we are, or why anyway.  We're dead.

"Uriah," she breathes as she runs full speed toward me, tackling me in a hug, then resumes sobbing.

"We're dead, aren't we?" I whisper, and she nods.  Tears begin to fall from my eyes as well.  Zeke... my mom... "I wasn't ready.  I'm not ready."

"Neither am I."

The woman speaks.  "We are not fully there, yet.  You can't go back to where you just were, but you may be able to have another chance."

My head snaps in her direction.  "Both of us?  Like a re-do?"

"We don't belong here, Mom," Tris says.  "How do we go back?"

"Please," I beg.  If this is a real redo, maybe we can save Marlene.  Lynn.  Tori.  Will.  "Tris and I need to go back.  We have to."

"I love you, my dear girl," Tris's mother says, and again I am surrounded in darkness.