American Dream?

The Storm

I turned on my heels and pushed open the door. My mother, from nowhere, was stood in front of me with her skinny arms crossed in front of the chest.

“We need to talk, young lady.” She said calmly, carefully enunciating every word. I couldn’t go through this bullshit, not now, not ever.

I tried to swerve passed her but her arm stuck of rapidly and held onto the wall, like a barrier to stop me going through. I tried to go round the other side of her but she intercepted me again.

“Where do you think your going?” she said again in a calm tone, although her frustration was obscuring the sentence.

“To my room. I don’t want to go through this bullshit now.” He said bluntly. The thing is it was the truth and a sudden gush of tiredness washed through me; all I wanted was sleep. I pushed my mum out of the way and made my way slowly up the stairs.

“An after school detention for disrupting the class for the rest of this week, a random boys you keep hanging around with and all these-these secrets you keep hiding from me? What has happened to you Alexandra?” She followed me up the stairs and called after me.

I reach my bedroom door, turned around to look my mother squarely in the face and yelled “You and your bloody job is the problem, mum!” With that I entered my room and slammed the door behind me.

“Do you have no respect? This is my dream! Everything can’t be about you all the time Alexandra, I have made sacrifices for you-”

“Pweh. Yeah right mum! You have made no sacrifices at all…do you even know why Serena doesn’t even want to look at you?! Hm? I suppose you forgot about you ex boyfriends. How about Phil, remember him, he used to uses us as punch bags. Serena and I had to go to hospital, we had to skip PE lesson so as not to show are scars and bruises, we had to put make up on are face to cover up the red marks! Don’t for a second think that you made sacrifices!” I screamed until my throat was raw.

“That was not what I was talking about.” My mum shouted back, there was a slight tremble in her voice but I was too anger to notice.

“Oh no, I forgot how about the time when you forgot about Serena after her ballet lesson when she was six. It was winter and you left her standing there for two hours in a leotard and tutu. She only can home when the teacher noticed her and gave her a lift home. She had flu for weeks. Yes, I have been totally unreasonable; you have made so many sacrifices!” I spat with just a hit of sarcasm.

“Don’t you dare turn this around, young lady!” my mum shrieked the trembling was more clear now.

“You are a pathetic mother and partner; no wonder dad left you!” I know I had gone too far. I could hear the subtle sobs coming from the other side of the door. My heart felt like it was breaking into tiny pieces, so fine you could pass them through the eye of a needle. I felt like flinging the door open and hugging my mum, but the damage was done.

There was nothing I could do. The sadness was crushing me, I needed to comfort her. No matter how angry I had felt, that was not needed and she defiantly didn’t deserve it.

My hands trembled as I turned the door handle and swung the door open. My mum was where I had seen her last. Standing their, head in her hands and crying her eyes out.

“Mum, I-” I started to try and apologize. She stiffened and looked up from her hands. Her eyes had gone red and puffy and the rosy cheeks had turned to a deep red. How could I apologize for this? There was nothing that could mop up the damage I had created.

“I-I-” I began to stutter.

“Get out.” She whispered quietly. I could barely make out what she was saying. “But-”

“Just go.” She said a bit louder with a stern tone.

I couldn’t help it but I became angry and confused. Here I was trying to make her feel better, even though I made her like this, but that wasn’t the point. At least I had stopped and apologized. “Fine, you want me out…then I’ll go.”

I walked it my room, shoved open my wardrobe was about to pull out my coat when I realized I was still wearing Jason’s leather jacket. I rubbed the fabric between my fingers for a second or two. I felt comfortable but when I spun round to see my mum stood exactly where she was, the angry filled me again.

I pushed past her, grabbed my keys from the table in the hall and open the front door. The chilling night air nipped at every part of my skin that was exposed. I ignored it and slammed the door behind me.

As I made my way up the road, I looked back, I could see my mothers face watching me from her bedroom window. He tear stained face showing a worried expression.

The empathy swept through my body. I wanted to turn around. Then the painful reminder came back to me about the days when I got beaten for speaking my opinion or when Phil felt like it. The pain came like a punch to the stomach.

Where was I going to go exactly?

Whitney’s house? No that would be inappropriate as we are currently on a no speaking basis and she will probably tell Madison Bitch-Face about it later.

Another friends house? The problem is I didn’t have any other friends.

Jason’s house? I didn’t know where he lived and that may look a bit weird, I don’t think we’re good enough friends yet.

I cleared my mind and strolled into the night. With not direction in mind but straight and away from my house.