Divided

Divided (mini)

Kenya

I closed my eyes and kissed Jaron back softly .

When I opened my eyes , he was looking at me stunned but kissed me back and caressed my hair .

I pushed he's chest back and he got off me and sat up , I sat up and he sat there searching my face .

I looked at his lips as I pulled off my shirt , I could feel he's eyes on my breast .

Damn he said breathlessly

I could feel my heart beating out my chest at the same time I was asking myself why I was doing this .

I just want him to make me feel beautiful.
I took hold of he's hand and pulled him closer to me, he kissed my neck as I laid down.

He's mouth trailed down to my breast and I shivered as he squeezed my breast and licked my areola and nipple slowly. He's tongue trailed down my stomach and stopped as he gently bit my pelvic bone.

He grabbed my shorts and pulled them off slowly with my panties . His rough hands gripped my thighs slowly pulling them apart .

W-wait i said grabbing he's hand .

I don't think we should do this I said breathless .

" You don't have to be scared Kenya, I won't hurt you ". He said softly

Do you even have a condom ? I said sitting up abruptly . I covered my breast as I sat up , I could see he's erect penis bugling out of he's shorts .

He realized that he didn't have a condom and ran he's hand over his head signing .

I'm sorry this was a mistake I said feeling bad .

"No you're right " he said sadly .

What are you going to be about that ? I said looking down at he's shorts .

"You could help me " he said innocently .

What? I said a little bit shocked .

He grabbed my hand and placed it into his shorts. I felt his warm dick throb in my hand, I gasped how big it was .

He moaned just from the touch of my hand .
I pulled my hand back . As a tingling sensation ran between my thighs.

Maybe , he'll be careful.

I looked at Jaron peanut butter body as my mind said no but my body and self worth said yes ....

I don't even like Jaron . And what about hakim?? , he could just be bullshitting me just to fuck me .

Do I really want my first time to be like this ?

If I really love myself now should I go through with this .

Jaron's peanut butter skin became blurry as tears rolled down my eyes .

Jaron looked concerned .

"We don't have to do this if you don't want too ." He said grabbing the blanket and covering me up .

Tears kept falling down my face , I thought I learned to love myself but how do I love myself if I'm about to give my body to the very person who shattered my self worth .

I'm desperate .

The desire for the opposite gender to love me and make me feel beautiful put me in the same bed with the same boy whose damaged my narrative of beauty .

Jaron hugged me tighter as my tears soaked he's chest .

"Damn Kenya I'm sorry "

He's deep voice vibrated in my ear while I tried to stop myself from crying.

My self worth still echoed

maybe he'll be careful

in the back of my mind .