Late Night Nutella

25: Wasn't A Perfect World

I see a boy who falls when he should stand
You see a man who's trying the best he can
I see in the mirror the wear of my mistakes
You see my heart and just how much I've changed

I sunk deeper into the warm, soothing water. An elated feeling spread through my body as I listened to the song blaring from my phone. It was yet another song that Vivi had recommended to me, and it almost felt like the song was written especially for me.

I wanna believe it
When doubt tries to ransom me
I know that I need it
The faith to see what you see

A smile graced my lips as I tried to relax, stretching my legs against the wall. Bubbles gathering around my body and the sweet scent of lavender filled the air.

The voice singing the song switched to a female one, and I sink deeper into the water.

What if the broken me was really your masterpiece
And everything wrong I see, you've made right
I know that your love redeems, you'll finish the work in me
I am made perfectly in your eyes

A few months ago, even a few days ago, I couldn't see much worth in my self. But now, now after everything that had occurred in the morning, I was starting to see a bit more clearly. It was almost like someone had adjusted my focus on the world.

I could barely fathom how many people had stood up for me. Me, of all people! Maybe, in the end, kindness really did win. After all, both Josh and Luca are going to be put on trial for both attempting to murder me and everything else that Luca had done. The security cameras in the school finally came in handy.

Suddenly, tears began to race down my face. No, these were not tears of agony and pain. They were actually tears of joy and happiness. Never, ever, did I think that good would triumph over evil. At least, not in my life.

Through blurry eyes, I looked toward heaven and smiled. "Thank you, God," I whispered.

In my heart, I could faintly hear the words "you're welcome, Connie."

All this time I've only seen
The cracks and bruises that made me me
But you've made beauty from my mess
And left behind your fingerprints

I could wholeheartedly relate to the lyrics blasting from my phone. Smiling, I realized it was probably time to get or of the bath. So, after scrubbing myself clean, I got dressed and exited the bathroom.

By this time, the sun had sunk beneath the clouds and left darkness in its wake. The house mirrored the outdoors as no lights were turned on. I was also home alone since everyone else was out.

I found myself walking downstairs to grab a snack. Music was no longer playing from my phone, but I was idly scrolling through it as I walked. A had about a million messages on my social media, which I had finally gotten on after the whole Tasha incident.

This time, the messages I read through were not laced with malice and meant to hurt me. They were full of support and love, which made my heart swell.

Walking into the kitchen, I idly turned on the light. Then, I screamed, my phone clattering to the ground.

"What the heck are you doing here?"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," Cheyenne sighed, shoving the rest of a brownie into her mouth. "I wanted to talk to you."

Slowly, I bent down to grab my phone. Then, I waved it in the air. "That's why these were invented!"

She shook her head. "This had to be in person. I know where they hide the key, so, um, sorry. It used to be a habit back when Vivi and I were best friends."

I nodded. "Okay. But I'm not really sure what I have to talk to you about. You had made it clear who you wanted to support in this fight."

"Well, I choose you in the end, didn't I?"

A sigh escaped my lips. Looking into the eyes of this girl, I couldn't tell what she was really feeling. "Yeah, in the end. But why not in the beginning, why not when I was trying to help you escape an abusive relationship?"

She shrugged. "I have no idea how to explain myself, Connie. Nothing would erase it. But, I just want you to know that I'm sorry."

Since I was in a good mood, I didn't feel like being petty and rejecting her apology. Besides, everything was basically done and over with, save the trail. "It's okay. I don't have a reason to hold a grudge against you."

She grinned. "Aw, thanks Con."

For some reason, her use of that nickname still gave me an uncomfortable feeling. "You're welcome. I'll, um, see you tomorrow."

Cheyenne shook her head, fiddling with the end of her ponytail. "That's it?"

I shrugged. "What else is there to talk about at-" I glanced down at my phone, "ten o'clock at night?"

"I still don't want him to go to jail. I still love him, Connie. I know he was wrong. You never should have suffered. I never should have been rude to you when you were trying to help me. But-"

I held up a hand to silence her. "That's your own problem. There's nothing I can or will do to stop what's going to happen. This boy deserves to be in jail. He abused you. And you're not going to stand there and try to convince me otherwise."

She pouted, which I somehow found funny. "Please! You initiated this. Can't you please have mercy on him? Can you not find it in your heart to forgive him?"

I thought about her words for a minute. I knew in my heart that God would want me to forgive Luca. In a perfect world, I would have. In a perfect world, he would say sorry and everything would be good. Or better yet, none of what happened would have, you know, happened. But it did. And this wasn't a perfect world.

"Maybe I'll forgive him one day. But this is in God's hands now. Please, Cheyenne, just to home. I really don't want to discuss this right now."

She smashed her foot onto the floor, startling me. "Well, maybe I do, Constance! I thought you were a Christian!"

My blood began to boil. "I am, but that doesn't mean I'm a perfect human being. That doesn't mean that what's going to happen isn't. So just stop right there. Don't you dare try to apologize then start this!"

After cutting me a glare, she stormed out of the house. Maybe it wasn't as over it as I initially thought.

------

Oh snap.

average_fangirl_16 recommended the song to me and now I'm addicted to it! Thanks so much haha. She said it reminded her of Connie and I agree. So it's dedicate for her because of that!

It's called 20/20 by Group 1 Crew btw

QOTD: How would you have reacted to Cheyenne?

-Sarah