Late Night Nutella

02: Fate Already Sealed

I stared at the fridge, the white appliance blurring into a blob. Tears stained my vision and soaked my face. Christie had her arms wrapped around me, sobbing into my shoulder. I was too numb to hug her back, to do anything but hold a staring contest with an inanimate object.

As soon as Christie relayed to me that Tasha had jumped off the roof of her two story house, I had rushed down the stairs, tears beginning to pour down my visage. I was immediately stopped my mom, who had demanded I explain why I was sobbing. Once I could form a coherent sentence, I explained to her and my dad that Tasha had committed suicide and that Christie had told me. Quickly, they instructed me to invite Christie over and for both of us to stay in the house while the adults handled it.  That's exactly what happened.

"It's all my fault," I whispered sullenly, but it sounded more like a distressed sob.

I felt Christie lift her head from my shoulder and retract her arms. "No, Connie. You didn't mean for her to die. You were just upset."

Distraught, I shook my head as my shoulders trembled. "No, it is my fault! What I said was horrible! She didn't deserve it!"

I felt an arm loop around my shoulders. She pulled me closer to her as she let out a sigh. "I know we're gonna miss her. Really, Con, don't let this get to you." Her voice with wobbly with tears and possibly fear. Slowly, she retracted her arm. When she spoke next, her voice was full of urgency. "Connie, you need to delete the messages before anyone sees them! You could get into a heap of trouble."

My eyes snapped to hers. Her icy eyes were nearly dry, slightly glossy and wide. Blonde strands pointing every which way, some clinging to her porcelain face and some pointing towards the roof. I allowed the back of my hand to swipe across my eyes, moisture leaving my face and clinging to the soft skin of my hand. Shakily, I pulled in a breath, blinking as her words sunk in. The wooden chair beneath my bottom suddenly felt like it had turned to metal, like electrodes were attached to my body. It felt like Christie could pull the switch at any minute, ending my meager existence because I helped end Tasha's.

"No," I sniffed, forcing myself to gather air into my lungs. "No. It's not right for me to play innocent. Tasha deserves justice."

Christie shook her head, anger pooling in her eyes. "No! They don't have the right to make you the villain. Of course I wish she was still here," she choked, promptly dabbing at her eyes with a napkin she grabbed from the center of the kitchen table, "but what's done is done. Really, you didn't push her."

I pressed my palms to my ears, staring out the window by leaning to the side of her. Tress swayed in the slightly breeze, light dancing on the grass as it snuck in between the branches of the trees. Shadows and light contrasted yet perfectly complimented each other. The few scattered clouds seemed to mock the leaves. The clouds could float away while the leaves were tethered, only to drift away when their time had diminished.

"Connie, Christie, are you girls okay?" I heard my mom ask, the sound slightly muffled by my palms.

I let my hands drop to my lap where I clasped them together. Hesitantly, I turned to my parents. Mom's dark hair flowed down her back and her bright eyes were glossy. Dad's blonde hair was a ruffled mess and his dark eyes were glossy as well. His lips were set in a thin line, hands clasped behind his back.

"Her mom said she had been down for a while," Mom breathed, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment before popping them back open. "She's not sure what set her off. They'll have to hack into her phone."

A sob escaped my lips but I had run out of tears to compliment it. My head pounded from the constant  crying. All heads instantly snapped to me, worry etched onto my parent's faces while Christie's held a warning glance.