Finding Kate

Chapter Thirty One: Decisions of the Heart

The quiet room was suffocating. The walls seemed to close in on him from the second he'd sank down onto the plush seating. Mike Bernstein wasn't used to ever feeling so helpless. His knees were weak and panic fluttered in his chest as he pressed the palm of his hands against his eyeballs in hope that he'd wake up and discover that this was all a dream.

His soulmate really was having her body carved into by surgeons trying to save her life and the life of their baby. The nurse had asked him to make a decision if worst came to worse and he found it so easy to make it frightened him. No matter what happened he wanted Autumn to live. It pained him greatly to chose her over the baby.

The truth was they could always have another baby, hell they could always a adopt but he could not possibly live without Autumn, and he knew selfishly that there wasn't a chance in hell he could care for their baby without her. He knew himself well enough to know that that child would be rejected if it lived and she did not.

He cradled his head in his hands wondering how he could be facing this moment alone. His mother had wanted nothing to do with him after discovering he was keeping the baby he'd conceived out of wedlock. It wasn't about the fact he wasn't married to Autumn, it was the fact that she was white.

His father, and Autumn's parents had passed away some time ago. He knew the other were busy at the scene, trying to piece together what had happened. He knew it was important for them to find Kate and Daniel, especially when there was nothing more they could do for Autumn.

There were no hard feelings about the accident, a least not yet. He knew it wasn't in Kate's nature to have taken Daniel and ran. There were so many things that didn't make sense and he had so many regrets.

He wished he'd been able to hand his case over, he wished he trusted John Hagen enough to actually turn up for work and run with this lead instead of calling with something more important at the last minute.

He rubbed his gritty eyes with his hands.

It wasn't fair to blame Hagen, despite the fact he openly detested the man.

The door to the quiet room opened and Bernstein rose his head expectantly, the dread rolling around his stomach.

Tim Speedle shut the door behind him, his dark eyes studying Bernstein as he stepped towards him. Bernstein rubbed his hand across the top of his head as Speedle dropped down besides him. The two of them didn't speak for a moment. Speedle clasped his hands together, his fingers knotted as he pressed them to his forehead, his eyes closed. Bernstein looked at his own hands, his resolve breaking as he spoke the words he'd been frightened of saying since Autumn had been admitted.

"I think I'm going to lose her."

Bernstein's eyes began to burn as he spoke, he clenched his jaw and drew in a deep breath.

"Autumn's really strong." Speedle said, rubbing the bridge of his nose trying to relieve the tension in his head. "And so are you."

Bernstein swallowed hard, he bit his bottom lip before putting his hands on the back of his head and staring up at the ceiling.

"I picked her over the baby." He submitted into the restless cool air.

Speedle bowed his head and nodded.

"I would have too."

The silence stretched between them before Bernstein spoke again.

"Is there any sign of them?" he asked quietly.

Speedle ran his hands through his dark curly hair,before shaking his head.

"People can't just vanish, Kate can't just vanish like that, she would have left some clue, or a mark or something." Speed said out loud.