Finding Kate

Chapter Twenty Two: Too Much, Too Soon

Not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly you won't give up on me
And I shall believe

Sheryl Crow – I Shall Believe

Being at home was like a breath of fresh air. The familiar surroundings were a comfort, everything I needed and wanted was in reach, and for the first time in a long time I felt a distinguished sense of pride over the fact I could simply get it myself.

I'd been home for over a month now, I was still visiting the out patient rehab faculty at least twice a week. My schedule was full of Aerobics, water therapy and gruelling courses on the treadmill, saying that I felt like I was getting better. It didn't hurt to laugh anymore, walking wasn't a chore and I could lift small weights, and cereal boxes. Cereal boxes were the one thing that Tim let me lift, even hardback books he regarded with suspicion, mentally tallying up the damage they could do if one was just that little bit too heavy.

I couldn't drive yet, and I hadn't gone back to work.

After leaving the Rehab Faculty that doubled as a nursing home, the muscles in my chest had become infected that had rendered me practically lethargic for five days, Tim had rushed me to hospital after hearing me cough up mucus in the bathroom before his shift. My chest had been in severe pain from the heaving of my lungs and they'd been forced to give me pure oxygen to help me breathe. I had been on the strongest course of antibiotics they could give someone like me, and in turn those had made me sick too. After an over night stay I was back at home and sleeping away the four days in bed because the pain in my chest was so great and the nausea constant.

It was almost two weeks before I was actually well again but I was told to watch out for infections in the future, my chest and lungs were weak so were prone to problems.

The best part of being sick and at home was the fact I got to curl up on my own sofa, underneath a blanket and watch any show I wanted, I had an extensive cable package and made full use of it. The couch was so comfortable it was practically becoming my bed. After the intense physiotherapy sessions, I would come home and shower before curling up on the couch with a book or with a movie. I'd woken up many a time to Tim stroking my hair with his hand as he flicked through to the Discovery channel.

Aerobics had been better today; it was easier to breathe through the pain now, more than it ever had been. Autumn had come along to keep me company and it was nice to know that I was not the only one struggling, she'd dropped me off after the class with a kiss on the cheek and a wave, making sure I got into the house ok before she drove away.

If Tim couldn't pick me up he always made sure I had a designated driver on standby. Mostly Calleigh or Eric but sometimes it was Tripp. When it was Tripp he usually took me out for a snack or a coffee to lighten up my day. It was nice to talk to the father figure in my life and he kept me entertained with stories and witticisms from the cases he was pulling at the moment. It made me feel like part of the team, I liked the inclusion despite the fact I was out of the field and would be for a long time.

On Wednesdays when Tim had the late shift Calleigh would come over and cook dinner, she whipped up the most wonderful Southern dishes I had ever tasted, and would sleep in the spare room once I was settled.

Even though I was being babysat I relished the company, it was enjoyable to have people around me. It made me feel loved and wanted.

Despite the fact I was getting better there were still some habits and issues that lingered. One's that I wasn't sure I would ever shake. I couldn't get changed in the same room as Tim like I had before the fall. I was petrified of that scar, and spent hours looking at it in the bathroom mirror. It was ugly and awful. Although it repulsed me I knew I'd have to learn to live with it someday, it was just trying that was the hardest part.