Finding Kate

Chapter Thirty Four: Bitter Sweet

All my thoughts are with you forever,

Until the day we'll be back together

I will be waiting here for you

Within Temptation - Bittersweet

His head was in his hands. He could feel the blood pounding in his temples as his fingers clutched at his hair, attempting to distract him from the words that were uttered. His eyes were burning, unwanted tears were escaping from the corners and he couldn't bring himself to look up at the doctor as he spoke. He only listened.

It wasn't real, this whole day could not have happened. It shouldn't have happened. The evidence was there. Kate's burnt out SUV, Bernstein's child in the ICU along with his fiancée, his own Kate lying in a hospital bed, fresh from the surgery that had stopped the internal bleeding.

He felt like someone had gutted him. John Hagen had done this, he'd stuck his hand into Speedle's chest grabbed his heart and twisted until the pain was unbearable. Tim allowed himself this moment to break down. He was allowed a time to fall apart and freak out, to rant, rave and cry because he knew after this moment he'd have to be the brave one because Kate would not be able to put together the pieces of her broken life.

The sexual assault kit had been positive. Calleigh had tried to break the news to him as gently as she could but she had not been prepared for the wrath of this defilement. She had not expected him to put a hole in the wall of the hospital waiting room. His fist was aching, the nurse that had checked had proclaimed his hand bruised instead of broken.

"Can I see her?" he murmured.

Doctor Carmichael looked down at the younger man, a kind expression on his features as he stood along side Horatio clutching the clipboard.

"She hasn't come out of the anesthesia yet, she's still unconscious. She was lucid when she went in for the surgery but we're unsure of what to expect when she wakes up."

The three of them understood that he was talking about the attack. They were unaware of the psychological effects, how she would be handling it.

"Her body and mind has undergone a lot of trauma. We were lucky that it was only her appendix that was ruptured during the crash, we managed to stop the bleeding into her lungs but it's the other the other damage we are concerned about."

The lower tearing, she'd been bleeding between her legs, bruising on her thighs and hips. She'd had a concussion, it had turned more severe because it had been untreated. Tim reeled off the ailments in his head like a grotesque tick list. They'd had to take samples from Kate, even though the bastard was dead they had to violate her further to ensure he had been the only one.

Tim pursed his lips together, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand. He was struggling at the moment against the emotions that crashed down on him. The past twelve hours had been the most terrifying of his life, he wasn't sure he had the strength to keep his urgency below the surface, he knew he was starting to lose control of his temper. He needed to make sure she was ok, that she was back with them and it wasn't some mistake.

Doctor Carmichael watched the young detective's turmoil. He's always had a strong relationship with the MDPD, and Horatio had gone out of his way to help him out a few times after his wife's death when his daughter had gone off the rails.

"You can see her... You can stay there until the anesthesia wears off and then we're going to have to evaluate the psychological trauma." Doctor Carmichael informed Tim.

He rose to his feet unsteadily, feeling bile rise in his throat. His stomach was jittery with nerves. He wasn't sure what to expect and that scared him.