eden ➡ james f. potter

05: and.

i've been so caught in my own small shit that I can't see past the nothing around me

THE MONTH OF APRIL APPROACHED AND WITH IT, SO did the semi-final of the Quidditch tournament. The match was to be Hufflepuff versus Gryffindor, a seemingly simple game with a predictable outcome for James Potter was the Gryffindor captain and if it was one thing the boy could be depended on for, it was to win a Quidditch match. At least, that's what they thought.

For the past two months, James Potter had been in a daze. He rarely showed his face for meals in the Great Hall, choosing to go directly to the kitchens and eat dinner afterwards by himself. He was the last person to enter a classroom and the first person to leave. He didn't even partake in the usual pranking escapades with his friends anymore nor did he attend Quidditch practices that often. If you weren't looking for him, you wouldn't even know he was there.

James Potter had become a wallflower.

Sure, he would talk to his friends while they were all in their dormitory and when someone spoke to him, they were sure to get an answer. But his replies lacked the flair that screamed James Potter and that scared everyone that knew the boy.

"Cece, you broke the kid," Elliot said, decked out in his Quidditch gear as he sat next to the Lestrange girl. It was the morning before the match and everyone was in the Great Hall. There was a buzz in the room, one that only Quidditch could create, and Cecilia could feel the nerves radiating off of everyone around her. It was one of those rare days where James was in the Hall. He had been dragged out of the Tower by Sirius who was currently forcing the boy to eat something before the match. The Gryffindor team sat around their captain, watching him in apprehension.

The girl shrugged as her gaze flickered from the sixth year to her best friend, "I can't see how you could think that I did that."

The Hufflepuff gave the girl a look before shaking his head, "I'm going out onto the field, coming to support?"

"I always come to support you when you play, you dingbat. I'll be right there, just have to read and reply to a letter from my mother."

"Oooh," Elliot teased, "A letter from home? Is Mummy threatening to take away your pureblooded privileges?"

Cecilia rolled her eyes, "Twat. Go on before I hex your arm off and you lose your Beater privileges."

The dark-haired boy smiled at her before he got up to leave the Hall, meeting up with the rest of his team. As he walked out, Cecilia's eyes followed him and when he was gone, her gaze drifted back to James Potter.

The boy was still being force-fed by his friends and he looked miserable. Her heart tugged at the sight but Cecilia only shook her head and stood up, picking up the letter that had been brought to her by her mother's owl that morning. The girl left the Hall to return to her dorm while James was preparing to play a rather interesting match.

After that day, no one in Gryffindor House believed that the Hufflepuffs were pushovers.

"And Travis MacMillan has caught the Snitch! Unbelievable! Hufflepuff wins 330-20!"

James didn't want to believe it. He didn't want to believe that he had just lost the shot at the Quidditch final against Hufflepuff. The boy landed his broom as the crowd of yellow and black went wild, storming off into the castle before anyone could stop him.

"We've got to find a way to fix this," Sirius said, standing next to Peter and Remus as the three boys tried to avoid getting caught in the stampede of badgers.

"Like I said before," Peter argued, "If she wanted him then, there had to be some sort of attraction to him. Maybe we can find a way to get that part of her back again."

"Please," Elliot interjected, his bat still in his hand, "Please don't tell me you wankers actually think your friend with the glasses has a chance with Cece."

Sirius turned and his face hardened, "What's it to you?"

The Hufflepuff let out a boisterous laugh, "Ah, you're bloody hilarious. Cece would never go for that, just saying. Plus, she's got other things to deal with."

"Like what? Her Death Eater training?"

As the words left the Black boy's mouth, any trace of laughter dissipated from Elliot's face as his jaw clenched, "Don't talk that way about Cece. She may be a lot of things but she is not that. There are things going on that you couldn't begin to fathom. So leave it and her alone."

One would think at the sight of an angry seventh year with a Beater's bat in his hand, one would deter from taunting; but Sirius was not backing down, "What's wrong? Mummy didn't teach her enough hexes to use on the Muggleborns?"

Elliot stepped up so that he was directly in front of Sirius. The Black boy had to look up as Elliot was a few inches taller than him and the Hufflepuff boy narrowed his eyes while he put his hand on Sirius' shoulder, pushing the gray-eyed boy against the wall of the castle..

"I told you to leave it alone, you little git. Cecilia and I have best friends for the past six years of my life and she's never tried to kill me once. But I guess it never crossed your mind that I was a Muggleborn, did it?"

Something unknown flashed across Sirius' eyes and in that moment, the boy lost the adrenaline that was making him say those things.

"That's what I thought," Elliot spat as he shook his head. The seventh year turned to leave and before entering the castle, told them, "There are things bigger than you fools going on and if you want to come out unscathed, I suggest you keep yourselves away from Cecilia. Especially Potter. I kinda like him, I don't want to have to take a beater's bat to his face."

Meanwhile, James Potter was racing up the castle stairs. He didn't know where he was going but he kept walking because that distracted him from the fact that he had let his team, he had let his house, down and ruined their chances of winning the Cup. One could argue that it wasn't completely and only his fault as it was the Hufflepuff Seeker that caught the Snitch and ended the game but James knew that even if the Gryffindor Seeker caught the Snitch, they still would've lost.

As Captain and one of the Chasers on the team, this loss fell on his shoulders.

The boy was grumbling to himself when he rounded the corner and it didn't even register that he had collided with someone until he was on the ground.

James looked up, ready to curse whoever it was, but the words were caught in his throat as he realized that it was none other than Lily Evans. The girl was on the floor, just as James was, and papers that were most likely in her hands were now scattered all over the corridor.

"You irresponsible little-"

"Sorry, Evans. I wasn't watching where I was going," James said, his voice small and soft as he tried to gather the girl's papers.

Lily stopped in her tracks. The redheaded girl was prepared to have a screaming match with the boy as she thought he was finally back to his old ways. After his response, she was hesitant to say anything. The girl wasn't blind or oblivious, she knew something was up with James for the past few months as the boy had done nothing to harass her. Actually, when she thought about it, he hadn't so much as breathed in her direction since January. Now, as she watched him pick up her papers, she couldn't help but feel a bit worried (something that she'd never admit to anyone).

James stood up and offered a hand to Lily, which she reluctantly took. He handed her her papers and said, "Well, I'll be on my way."

He walked past her and she was about to let him leave when she burst out, "James!"

The messy-haired boy turned back, "Yeah?"

"How was the match?" she asked, a smile on her face. She knew if there was one thing he liked to do, it was talk about his talents; and Quidditch was definitely one of those things.

The boy shook his head, "I messed up. We lost."

Lily tried not to show any reaction but she couldn't stop the widening of her eyes and the way her jaw dropped open. James sighed and turned back, continuing his ascent of the castle while the Muggleborn witch remained shocked in the hallway.