Dear Connor

first two days of senior year

two uploads in one day, im trying to catch up i know im behind. its so much longer when im typing it up on microsoft word, then i copy and paste it on to here and its short and it makes me so sad, i get so excited for a long upload only to see it look short again. im waiting for my little sister to call me because she hasnt responded to the this one is for you gabby thing, which again this is for her. i dont think i can pick characters to play ari and connor because connors character means so much to me and ari is such a pain.

August 10, 2009

Dear Connor,

Hi, honey, so it is my first day back, which makes it an odd day. It is my lunchtime, so I only have forty-five minutes to write to you and eat lunch, and I do have to eat lunch because kiki will kick my ass and I don't need that on the first day. This morning started with math, which was cool the teacher introduced herself and then made us stand up and say our names which she didn't need because she has us in a seating chart, and like most east teachers she has us west campus students by ourselves in a corner. They need to make a rule about segregating us west students, I don't get why east does it, hell were not freshmen I totally understand why they would do it to sophomores and the random freshmen who are on this campus but seriously I'm a SENIOR! On the plus side maybe she wont bug us. But she's pregnant so she probably wont be here all year, I give it till Christmas at the most, if she's here longer id be really surprised.

Criminal investigations was cool he lectured us which I expected that's how he is, but we were all his students last year so we all know the rules. There is about six of us westies (school nickname, its westies and easties). Were all kinda scattered around the room where were comfortable, im in the same seat I was in last year, but theres no amber this year, she had her baby and isn't going to school anymore. I miss my partner in this class. He said he kinda is just giving us a free day today which is like uh huh but tomorrow we start, which is lame its only day two but im ready to kick some ass and show these boys what I can do.

Government was last period and that was fun. Because it was my first class at west today I was like OHMYGOD IM HOME!!!!!!!!!!!! Lol I missed school. No let me re-say that Connor I missed west campus that's where all the good stuff happens. The teacher for gov seems cool hes also the football coach and teaches my econ class, unlike most teachers he only teaches seniors which is nice for us, its good to have teachers who only have to deal with one grade level. So far we get to pick our own seats which I liked until Jordan sat in back of me, seriously that boy needs to move I will not have him bugging me all year, because then I will get in trouble for beating somebody ugh. L I think this class will be kinda challenging, the laws I know ill learn quick so will the dates and history but I know ill mess up a few times, im good in history I should pass this class with a B I think if j doesn't bug me ill do better.

So its now twenty minutes into my lunch period and I am going to let you go for a few minutes so I can eat and socialize. I love you Connor I will let you know how last period goes.

Ok I'm home now, ta was last period and that was so busy I was told it will calm down in a few weeks once everything settles down, I hope so. I was running around the campus and to different offices. Id feel so lost but I know west so well and most of the teachers so it was ok. Oh and it turns out the lady im assigned to I wont be doing much for her, ill probably be working with everyone else or I can do nothing or if a teacher needs someone I can get called to them. They just say I cant go walking around campus bugging people, yeah right im a senior that rule doesn't apply to me. Good news I don't have back to back classes with Jordan, bad news now it means I have to deal with him everyday, that is lame, well he is lame haha.

Lunch was so cool, it was nice to see everyone again. I swear the freshmen seem to double every year, when did that happen? And they are so annoying this year. Acting like they own the campus, yea right get a life, its not like eighth grade where you 'ruled the campus' their the babies of this school and are nothing until they start showing some respect then they will upgrade to ninth graders instead of freshmen. Stupid kids and then to think they are gonna hit on a senior like their the man. Hahaha yeah right they got an eye roll and a sweetie I think your looking at the wrong end of the totem (I think that's how you spell it, im not in the mood to google it) pole, why don't you try your side and see if it works. Sadly that didn't help Jordan came by and used the if you hit on my girl one more time your gonna be sorry card. That terrified the kids. Ric was nearby and just laughed, as my little brother he should have said something, he is a year younger then me, and we don't really bug each other, we get along very well, don't fight kind just go with whatever is going on, we don't take sides. Nes goes here too, but since she is a freshmen she is pulling the my big sis is a senior card, and my big brother is a jr so I can do what I want. I don't get why she thinks that, shes still at the bottom too, she doesn't get special privileges because of us, none of her other siblings got that. You have to earn it, and I don't think she is going to. Im allowed off campus because I am a senior, and sometimes I do go and get ric things, but he never asks me, I get it because its things he likes and its nice, now if he bugged me everyday I would say no, but I'm pretty sure he would find someone to do it for him if I wouldn't.

Anyway Connor I think I have covered today and a little bit more then I needed to cover. Sorry I started to rant. I love you and miss you very much, wait for me ok? ~Ari

August 11, 2009

Dear Connor,

Well Connor, its day two of school and since yesterday was an odd day today is an even day. Started off in econ with kiki, and once he called her name then mine, he gave us this weird look and went on, we just laughed she sat behind me like she always does, she gets her work done that way. We know the whole class so he's gonna be trouble anyway its not just going to be us being pains in his asses. Not trying to be mean just honest, yes we are going to drive him nuts, but he is so going to miss us next year. Id say we will be nice one day a week, but he only has us together like every other day, and on odd days were in different government periods. Like in gov we get to pick our own seats I love that.

In fourth block criminal investigations, we did a few test runs and some review he was nice and we are starting work next week. So I need to remember to review my reports this weekend so I can get them right the first time, I hate getting things wrong when I know what I'm doing. There is a few very loud guys in this class they sit up front away from me, I hope he doesn't pair me with them. I like to just get my work done, I'm not here to socialize I am there to learn and that is all. I went from west to east for this class and then I go back to west for ta and then I stay at west for senior english.

Ta was sixth with Jordan, its just us and every other adult person who works there, they told him to be nice to me, and he goes but she's the mean one. They didn't believe him I think I might actually like that block and those ladies. All we did today was filled paperwork in attendance which there was a lot of but those ladies are sweet plus they have candy. I think I'm always going to check in with them for help first for now on.

English was horrible, I wish I was going to like that lady but I don't think I will, you know Connor I've only had one good English teacher and that was sophomore year. Why do they give me the bad teachers, I'm horrible in English I need a good teacher because of that, kiki always has the good English teachers but shes good in the subject. I don't know do you get the logic in that because I don't.

Today was over all alright, I had a dream about you last night, we were just laying in bed with my head on your chest and you were playing with my fingers and we were talking. I miss your voice, I miss it all, that blonde hair and those light green eyes, that perfect white smile. The look on your face when your asleep, your laugh, how comfortable I am around you, the person I was when you were here. I miss making plans and watching you play football and do new things. How kind you were to everyone. Going to church with you. You have me in tears now. I need you here Connor, why did God take you? I still don't understand, help me understand because all I'm feeling is pain. I don't think I am ever going to move on, everyone says ill move on. But I wont, how can I move on without you here by my side. You were the best thing in my life and you were taken from me, why doesn't anyone get that. I am in love with a man who died, and no one can replace you, nothing is going to change that. And no one understands what it feels like because they havent lost their soul mate, losing a family member or friend isn't the same, this hurts so much, im half alive without you here. What if things were different, I would give up my life for you to be here, even for just a few minutes. No one wants a broken toy and I don't want to be fixed, that will only change if you came back. And I know your not coming back no matter how much I want you too.

I love you Connor I always have and I always will. ~Forever your's Ari~