Dear Connor

the weekend

(This chapter goes to my little sister gabby who nicely calls me just to see if I've written more.

Which honestly I hadn't even started because I've been so busy. so prewarning it might be short)

May 22, 2009.

Dear Connor its now Saturday. And about five am. I got about three hours of sleep and then I had a dream about you, and that was it. I can't go back to sleep.

Jordan is asleep in one of the other rooms. Honestly I didn't care to check on which all I know is he isn't on the couch. He let my cat outside, but it was time to bring her back in, I don't like her outside all night long.

Annie is now asleep next to me under my blankets while I write to you. Shadow doesn't leave my side. He's always with me while I'm home. He knows your gone I think he misses you too. He lays on things that smell like you. Nothing is safe from him.

Do you remember when we first got them? We had gone to the animal shelter and you were so set on getting a dog. Because you said men don't get cats its a girl thing. Well I wasn't a dog person and duh I'm a girl. You didn't find a dog you wanted. And I begged you for us to look at the cats. It took awhile but you gave in. Not even two minutes of walking into that room you fell in love with annie and shadow and then they were ours.

I just want to sleep sometimes. I hate leaving the house. I'm scared of seeing you everywhere. Maybe if we moved to a new town it would be different. There would be no you there, no memories.

May 23, 2009.

Dear Connor.

I'm sorry about not finishing writing to you yesterday morning. I fell asleep. And then when I woke up again Jordan had made us breakfast with coffee. Sometimes I swear I love that boy.

I was drinking my coffee when he goes 'Nes told me about Connor.' I told him oh. You are none of his business. I think he realized I wasn't going to say more about you. He got up and walked over to me. And just hugged me. It was one of those awkward hugs. So I moved away and looked at him. And he hugged me again so I kinda hugged him back. And then he told me he was sorry for giving me a hard time these last few weeks. And that even tho he knew I didn't want him here that he was gonna now be the friend he should have been all these years. And that today we were gonna have fun.

We went to the zoo, and indoor rock climbing, seen a movie went to a mini theme park and then some shopping. I'm not gonna lie to you. I actually had fun. And with him. I was shocked and he didn't even hit on any women. That was a bigger shocker. We got home late last night, I showered then made a late night snack. I fell asleep next to him. He picked me up and carried me to my room. I know it was wrong but I made him stay with me. Nothing happened but still. And shadow didn't mind I've never seen him get that close to another guy besides you. Annie stayed away from him, but then again she only likes her momma and dad. I'm the only one she has now.

Everyone got back sometime this afternoon. Today was just a normal day. We did some cleaning then watched some movies. Our families are now in the backyard having a barbeque. And I'm up here all alone besides our adopted kids just talking to you. I don't want to go to school tomorrow. I haven't even started my weekend homework. I have to get at least half of it done before school. This weekend has been a nice step out of reality. But once tomorrow happens everything is back to normal. I really dislike this new normal. Just saying.

I have to go for the night. ~I love you -Ari

(I did say it was short. And I'm not gonna read over/edit before I put this online. Nes is Ari's fifteen year old sister. She has two older sister's and a older brother. Plus two brothers and sisters that are under her {nes is included in that younger two} for the record Jordan is now the youngest of three he has an older brother Mark and older sister Sara)