Best Quotes EVER!

1. Merlin

Merlin: I need to talk to you.

Arthur: You still haven't got it yet, have you? I decide when we need to talk.

Merlin: Not today.

Arthur: I sometimes wonder if you know who I am.

Merlin: Oh, I know who you are.

Arthur: Good.

Merlin: You're a prat. And a royal one.

Arthur: Were you born clumsy or do you work at it?

Merlin: It's one of my many gifts!

Arthur: You don't have a dog and fetch the stick yourself. No offence, Merlin.

Merlin: None taken.

Arthur: If you weren't scared you'd be talking rubbish as usual.

Merlin: I am talking rubbish as usual. I mean, I am talking...as usual.

Arthur: We can't leave him here! We have to lift him unto the bed!

Merlin: Why? He's asleep, he's not gonna know!

Arthur: MERLIN!

Merlin: Well...I'll get him a pillow!

Arthur: He is THE KING!

Merlin: ALL RIGHT! Two pillows!

Merlin: Arthur thinks he's so sharp, but when I tell him I'm a sorcerer he can't see it!

Gaius: Sorcerers are very hard to spot 

Merlin: Maybe I shuld go around with a pointy hat! 

Merlin: You don't know where we're going.

Arthur: No, Merlin, I know where we're going, I just can't tell you, that's all.

Merlin: Right, 'cause if you do you'll have to kill me, i suppose.

Arthur: *seriously*  Immediately, and without hesitation.

Merlin: ... Great. It'll be a surprise, I love surprises, who doesn't love a good ... surprise?

Arthur: Yet you called me 'friend'.

Merlin: That was my mistake.

Arthur: Yes, I think so.

Merlin: Yeah, I'd never have a friend who be such an arse

Merlin: Who do you think you are? The King?!

Arthur: No, I'm his son. Arthur.

Arthur: I could take you apart with one blow.

Merlin: I could take you apart with less then that

Arthur: I warn you, I've been trained to kill since birth.

Merlin: Wow. And how long have you been training to be a prat?

Arthur: You can't address me like that.

Merlin: Sorry. How long have you been training to be a prat... my lord?

Merlin: But I'm serious! If anyone wants to go killl him, they can go ahead. In fact, I'll give them a hand.

(The Great Dragon laughs)

Great Dragon: None of us can choose our destiny, Merlin. And none of us can escape it.

Merlin: No. No way. No. No, there must be another Arthur, because this one's an idiot.

Merlin: Rise and shine!

Arthur: Can't you think of anything new to say?

Merlin: What?

Arthur: Every morning, it is the same thing.

Merlin: Oh, I'm sorry. How about... shake a leg? Up and at them? Let's have you, lazy Daisy? No, you don't like any of them, do you?

Merlin: Look on the bright side. You've still got me.

Arthur: Is that supposed to cheer me up?

Merlin: Thought it might.

Arthur: You look like a startled stout!

Merlin: Well atleast I don't look like a bone-idle toad.Lets go!

Arthur: You saying I look like a toad?

Merlin: Yeah! and maybe one day you'll transform into a handsome prince. Just magics outlawed that'll probably never happen. Come on lets go.(Turns to go)

Arthur: Merlin! (Merlin turns back to Arthur) I'm the one who gives the orders remember!(gesters to himself)

Merlin: Yeah!....You ready lets go (he walks off)

Gwen: I saw what you did. It was so brave.

Merlin: It was stupid.

Gwen: Well, I'm glad you walked away. You weren't going to beat him.

Merlin: Oh, I could beat him.

Gwen: You think? Because you don't look like one of these big muscley kind of fellows.

Merlin: Thanks.

Gwen: No, no. I'm sure you're stronger than you look. It's just... Arthur's one of these real rough, tough save-the-world kind of men and well...

Merlin: What?

Gwen: You don't look like that.

Merlin: *whispers* I'm in disguise.

Arthur: Describe Dollop Head.

Merlin: In two words? *Arthur nods* 'Prince Arthur.'      

Arthur: What were you doing?

Merlin: Peeing!

Arthur: You mean to tell me...you were peeing all the time I was in there?

Merlin: I really had to go.

Arthur: There is definitely something very wrong with you.        

(Old Merlin): And you, oh I've heard how you...mistreat your servants! They do everything for you but they don't have any thanks! You are an arrogant prat, with the brain of a donkey and a face of a toad!

(Old Merlin): I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!

Arthur: [Enters prison cell] It's time. [Guards grab Old Merlin.]

(Old Merlin): Wait!

Arthur: What is it?

(Old Merlin): There...are...other crimes I wish to confess. [Chuckles]

Arthur: [Looks puzzled] What difference does it make? You're...about to be burnt at the stake, we can't execute you twice.