Mistaken Love

Mistaken Love-(3) Going Back Home

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Mistaken Love-(3) Going Back Home

I sat on the praying mat and made 'Dua'(prayer) for my brothers place in jannah. He was a very special person to me and after I lost him. I don't know why but I don't trust guys anymore, he wasn't my boyfriend but still I started hating them cause that's what they do, they get attached to you and then leave you, while your hurt, they don't look back once. I will never ever hate my brother, but I guess I was disappointed with him. Him not being there when I needed him the most blew me away and I just miss him. I have to go back home to Virginia, I miss my family, and most of all I miss my other brother Amir, after he came in to our lives, mom changed and dad changed, before Amir came into our lives Noor had a change and I also did, but we all did in a good way. We needed to bring a change to our lives, dad would always be busy with work come home and eat dinner and go to sleep, mom would come home from work at 7pm and dad at 9pm, she prepared dinner for us in the meantime. Noor had school just like me and when we would get home, mom would tell us what chores we had. I never missed my prayers, but during he died I missed 2 I know my brother might have slightly been upset but I made it up. Everyday would go by with no one talking and none of us had a full conversation. Then Amir came in our lives and we started talking, we would have a laugh here and there. He's basically just like our Rayyan a smaller version, he came to keep us happy. I love him from all my heart and I don't ever ever want to lose anyone else from my family.

I got up from the mat and folded and put it on the table. Unpinned my hijab and fell in bed again. I've decided it I'm gonna beg Noor that it's been to long time away from home and we have to go winter break is coming up. I'm tired of her lame excuses she doesn't wanna take me home cause she thinks that I won't be able to handle myself, yes I will. I miss everyone and the thoughts of going home made me get some sleep.

"Heraaa get up it's 9 and your work starts at 10" Noor was lightly playing with my hair just how Rayyan used to do when I wouldn't fall asleep.

"I'm up, let me go take a shower, I'll be out in 20min." I said as she was leaving my room and I was heading to the bathroom.

I took a quick shower, did my hair, and then wore my clothes. My outfit was a light blue high-low dress with white leggings, white blazer and a similar hijab with prints of flowers. I got to the kitchen and sat at our little table and ate breakfast. I'm about to tell her about my trip that I planned.

"Noor, I really miss home and Rayyan. I wanna go home and spend some time with mom dad and Amir. Winter break already started it been a day, I think we should go home and visit." she listened carefully and then responded.

"I think it's a great idea, we can go." yes yes yes yes yes yes!

"Yes I love you Noor, okay I have to go to work and then come home and pack." I hugged her and bid my goodbye and left.

I took a walk to work today and wanted to see the beautiful city I live in, with warm smiles from everyone, it felt great the slight breeze sunny day.

I was unlocking the door, its weird how Beth isn't here today. I took off my coat and wore my apron didn't wanna ruin my outfit. I heard the door opening okay so she's here.

"Hey Beth you almost scared me, how come the café wasn't opens when I came........" I stopped in the tracks of my words, it's not Beth, it's Zayan. "Oh it's you".

He didn't say anything to me which I was glad and he did what he wanted to do. He also wore his apron and sat on a stool behind the long breakfast table. I was sitting behind the register waiting for a customer.

We made no conversation, that's good. I was looking at the way he sits to occupy himself, it reminds me of Rayyan. His eyes are the same color and his hair is just the way Rayyan use to keep it.