Conquering Chicago (Chicago Fire 1)

She's gone

But I don't understand. I don't understand how this all happens. How we go through this. I mean, I knew here, and then she's - There's just a body, and I don't understand why she just can't get back in it and not be dead anymore. It's stupid. It's mortal and stupid. And - and Xander's crying and not talking, and-and I was having fruit punch, and I thought, well, Joyce will never have any more fruit punch, and she'll never have eggs, or yawn or brush her hair, not ever, and no one will explain to my why. 

Jay always thought that Will and Emily would be planning his funeral some day. But one thing he didn't expect was to be planning hers. It shocked him to realise that he didn't even know what her favourite flowers where. Roses. Lilly's. There was just to many to chose from. Part of him wondered if she would even want to be buried, or would she want to be cremated. Just the thought of burning his sister made him physically sick. 

You know what they are? Children. Like lighting a candle's going to make everything OK, or even saying a prater. Or pretending Elena's not going to end up just like the rest of us murdering vampires. Stupid, delusional, exasperating little children. And I know what you're going to say: 'It makes them feel better, Damon.' So what? For how long? A minute, a day? What difference does it make? Because in the end, when you lose somebody, every candle, every prayer is not going to make up for the fact that the only thing you have left is a hole in your life where that somebody you cared about used to be. And a rock with a birthday carved into it that I'm pretty sure is wrong. So thanks, friend.  Thanks for leaving my here to babysit. Because I should be long gone by now. I didn't get the girl, remember? I'm stuck here fighting my brother and taking care of the kids. You owe me big. 

Jay wasn't even given the chance to make it all up with Emily, and he knew what he wanted to do. He wanted to tell her that he loved her. That no matter what, they where always family. She should have known that there was nothing that would ever make him hate her. No matter what was said or done between them.

As crime scene investigators, we meet people of the worst day of their lives. They've just lost a family member, somebody they loved, often in a horrible way. A piece of their heart is gone, and will never be replaced. The phrase we're trained to offer them, 'I'm sorry for your loss', as we know now, doesn't offer much. Warrick Brown was a young boy when his parents passed away. Much too young to learn that life can be so tragically short. But I think that it taught him how precious life is, and so he loved his life to the fullest, each day as if it was his last day. I was with Warrick on his last day. All the qualities that defined him, his tenaciousness, his deep sense of loyalty, his courage to risk his life for what he knew was right, all those traits were with him on that last day. Just before he died, we were all having breakfast together. Our team. His friends. His family. And Warrick was ... he was ... I'm going to miss him so much.  

As he looked at one of the many coffins that lined the room around him, he wondered how he was supposed to decide where his sister was going to spend the rest of eternity. Why did he have to make that decision? Why did his sister have to die? His sister died because some guy couldn't keep his shit together. Because Stella Kidd brought this guy into his sisters life. "She's gone. She's gone" Jay said to himself.

And now she's gone. Do you understand? I let this person in. I let her in. I don't let people in. You knew this. You've taken her from me. I needed her and you've broken me.  

"She's gone" Jay jolted as he woke up from his sleep, Severide was still sitting in the same spot he had been for over 2 hours. At that moment, he knew he had been dreaming. The dream had made him sweat, cold sweats. The worry consumed him, what was happening to his sister? Will was wondering around the ED, helping to treat some patients while trying to keep himself and his brother up to date on the surgery. But it was difficult. He wasn't allowed to sit in on the surgery so keeping up to date with it wasn't easy. 

"Okay, I'm getting a coffee. Do you want anything?" Severide asked, getting up from his seat for the first time in around 2 hours. His legs where stiff and his bum was numb. So, he needed to move. Jay just looked at him, shaking his head. Severide nodded back at him before wondering off to get his coffee. 

In Washington DC, Agent David Rossi had just returned to the BAU from Hawaii. For the last week the team had been tracking a serial killer that had been cutting out the hearts of women from around the Island. When the team had finally located the killer, it turned out that one of the police officers that they had been working with was helping the unsub. So, it was safe to say that by the time he had returned home to Washington that he was tired. He was tired to the point where he could feel himself falling asleep. 

As he wondered into his office, the sound of his phone vibrating caught his attention. For the last few days - he had been wondering where it was he had left it. It seemed like he had left it on his desk, underneath a pile of case files. "Hello" Rossi said, after scrabbling to reach it before whoever was calling him hung up. 

"David Rossi?" The voice on the other end of the phone asked. 

"Speaking" Rossi said. 

"This is Maggie Lockwood from Chicago Med. We have Emily Halstead here, she was stabbed and it now in surgery. We have you down as her next of kin" Maggie said, for a moment Rossi didn't know what to say. 

"I'm on my way" Rossi said, hanging up the phone and picking up his backup go bag. Within 3 hours, Rossi had left Washington DC and was already walking into Chicago Med. Rossi hadn't booked a flight in an airport - he had simply borrowed the BAU's jet. Since he was the one that actually payed for the jet, it only seemed fair that he could use it every so often for whatever it was he needed. One the jet, Rossi had called Hotch - informing him of the situation. Hotch understood. Emily had become like a daughter to Rossi over the years. Both of them becoming closer than any other members of their team.

Emily had been over to Rossi's mansion many times over the year just to enjoy some home made food. One thing that Emily would always stand by was that Rossi was one of the best cooks around. And she wasn't wrong. 

Rossi went straight to the front desk in the ED, wanting to talk directly to Maggie. "Can I help you?" A woman asked Rossi. He looked at her for a moment before noticing the name tag that was stuck on her scrubs. The name read Maggie. 

"Maggie Lockwood?" Rossi questioned, Maggie looked at him before nodding. "I'm David Rossi, you called me regarding Emily Halstead" Rossi said.

"I'll take you to her" Maggie said, leading Rossi to where Emily was being treated. By this time, Dr Rhodes had brought her back to her room with the hope that there shouldn't have to be any more surgical procedures. Jay, Will and Severide where relieved by this. When Rossi reached the room, his eyes fell on the body of the girl he thought of like a daughter. Emily lay on the bed with tubes coming out of her mouth.

Rossi walked closer to Emily, he reached out and grabbed her hand. "What happened to you?" Rossi asked, taking a seat in the chair next to her bed. There where parts of what happened that Rossi knew about, but others parts he wasn't so clear on. One thing Rossi was going to do while in Chicago, was get to the bottom of what happened to Emily.

So close to the end.

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