The Emo League. Depression Hurts.

¤Chapter 1¤

•Chelsea•

Silence.

The only sound around me is the drops of water, hitting the pool of water that fills my bathtub. I strip, and get into the tub, immersing myself completely. I take a second, to think. Right now, right here.. I'm alone with my thoughts. I like it that way.

I watch, as my dirty blonde hair floats, on the surface above me, take another second, and then sit up in the water, breathing at a steady pace, and putting my thoughts together. I wipe my eyes, and wash the black residue off my hands. Right now, I probably resemble a racoon.

I take the razor I keep handy at all times in my bath tub, and look at it. The sharp edge it has always fascinated me. I hold my wrist up to the razor, and close my eyes...

Memories of my parents death begin to go through my mind. The moment they hid me in my bedroom closet, and told me to be silent..

SLASH.

The moment they both kissed me on my forehead, and told me that they'll always love me..

SLASH.

The moment they smiled at me with tears in their eyes..

SLASH.

The moment they closed the door to the closet, and the man in the hoodie came barging into the room with the gun..

SLASH.

The moment I watched.. From my 9 year old eyes, as the man shot my father, and killed him instantly..

SLASH.

The moment my mother screamed, and looked at me one last time, with hurt, and complete horror in her eyes, as the man shot her too..

SLASH.

And the moment after the man left, and I ran out of the closet.. Trying to wake my dead parents up..

SLASH.

........

I open my eyes, and look at the bloody water I'm sitting in. Then, I look at my wrist. 7 new scars.. Added to the ones that I already have, which have barely had time to heal.

A single tear streams down my face, and I allow it to fall.

I sit there, completely numb, and silent, for about 5 minutes, then I pick myself up, and take a warm shower.

I go into my bedroom, and throw on some very comfortable sweat pants, and a grey, long sleeved hoodie, and begin to look around my new room.

See, I just moved here last week. After my parents died, I stayed with my mom's friend for 7 years in the same state.. Michigan.. But it got old after a while. People kept on picking on me, and bullying me to the point where it was completely unbearable. Why.? ... Because I'm.. Well.. I'm emo.

My aunt Clara decided to adopt me a few months ago, after I 'accidentally' overdosed on pills.. Almost costing me my life. She thought that I went way too far that time, and that it was wrong. But in my opinion, it was my only choice. If I didn't kill myself.. Those kids at school would have done it for me.

Honestly, I wish those pills had fucking killed me.

Auntie Clara.. Or 'Clare" as she told me to call her.. Isn't a bad person. I just wish she was. It would make my life a heck of a lot easier. Last week, she moved me here. To her humongous mansion in Seattle, Washington. Now, I don't mind the state, because its like.. Always raining here. But the mansion.. I could really do without.

Clare has always been unmarried, and single. She's my mom's sister, and she just.. Never wanted that kind of life.. With a husband, and babies or whatever. She does have a son though, who she adopted a few years back.

Adrian. We used to hang out when we were kids.. Before my parents died. But for the past 7 years while I lived with mom's friend, we just.. Lost touch. I've been here for an entire week, and I haven't seen him yet. He's my age.. And Clare did say he lives here..

But then again.. Its probably not his fault why I haven't seen him. Clare gave me the entire 4th floor of her mansion, and Adrian has the entire second floor. I've made no attempt to leave the house.. Or this floor for that matter, so I guess its probably my fault. The only person's I've seen since I came to live here, are the maids, and Clare. She tries to check up on me atleast twice a day.

I honestly wish she wouldn't.

For the week that I've been here, I took the time to.. Redecorate my room. I painted the entire room red, and black, and did a few murals. I put heavy, dark curtains by the windows so that absolutely no light could pass through, and get into my room. Everything else, I basically left alone. The king sized bed, the computer desk, the huge book shelf that makes a nice oval looking thingy at the head of my bed.. That, I like.. The already black carpet, and the huge walk in closet. Oh, and the bathroom of coarse. I left that alone. And the big screen television stays the same.. Remaining untouched. Television=Happy People. /: . No. I don't do tv. There's supposed to be a shit load of other stuff on my floor, but I've never bothered to look, because honestly, I don't care.

Today though, I'll be forced to go downstairs, and have dinner with Clare and Adrian. Its Sunday, and tomorrow will be my first day of school. Clare wanted to go over some guidelines and whatever. Honestly, I can't escape this dinner. Believe me, I've tried.

I go into the walk in closet, and walk straight up to the full-length mirror. I haven't looked in the mirror for a while.. And surprisingly, I'm not shocked at what I see. My dirty blonde hair is still dirty, yet.. Kinda paler than usual. The few black streaks I have are still there. Yep. And my hair is in its same loosly curled state. I actually like my hair. My eyes.. Are huge. They're an amazing shade of ice blue, and they'll make me stand out wherever I go. I don't like that.. So I usually have my hair in my face. I stand straight, and notice that I haven't grown an inch taller. Not that I expected to. I'm still 5'7. My lips are pink.. I wish they were pale.. But they're pink.

I've been told that I'm pretty. I used to believe it. But I just don't believe it anymore. When I look at myself, all I see is sadness. A girl who doesn't deserve to be alive. A girl who is hurting, and has made herself into an ugly ball of hate.

I have a few piercings. My lip is pierced.. My tongue is pierced, my eyebrow is pierced, and my belly button is pierced.

My cellphone buzzes, and I look at it. Its a text from Clare, saying its dinner time. I sigh.. And decide to wear what I've got on.

Here we go..

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