It was a joke. They signed me up as a joke. I didn't think I'd get picked. I didn't want to get picked. I don't want to compete for some stupid boy band member's attention. Now I'm stuck on a dating show for the next 2 months with One Direction as 5...
"Liz, wake up." I heard and felt someone shake me, which made me jump and push the person away. I saw Ashton stumbling backwards and I sat up. "Sorry. You scared me." I said and he steadied himself. "It's fine. But we're supposed to leave in ten minutes. We're just going to lunch so you can wear whatever you want." He said and walked out of my room.
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As I got dressed I remembered that Ashton wanted to talk to me about something last night and suddenly felt myself get really nervous. I walked downstairs and saw Ashton sitting by himself, waiting on me. He stood up and we silently went to the car. We were completely silent the entire way to a small deli type place. We were silent the entire time. While we were eating he looked at me and just blurted out, "Do you want to be with me?" And I choked on my Sprite. I was not ready for that by any means and I sat there choking for a good five minutes. Once I could finally breathe again I looked at him with probably the dumbest expression I've ever had on my face. "What do you mean?" I asked and realized how stupid I sounded. "Do you still want to be with me?" He asked again and I didn't know how to answer him. "I'm confused. I'm trying to figure out who I want to be with." I said and he looked at the table. "I'm pretty sure you would know if you wanted to be with me or if you wanted Harry or Luke. It seems like you would fucking know." He said and dropped money on the table before storming out. The camera crew followed him and I just sat there with other people giving me looks of sympathy. I got up and walked outside, thinking he wouldn't just leave me stranded at some random deli and I didn't see the car. I went to a bench near by and sat down, pulling out my phone and calling the first person I thought of to come pick me up. As soon as I got off the phone with him I started crying. Ashton pretty much just told me to go fuck myself and then left me here by myself so that's great. I'm interrupting someone else's date because I pissed Ashton off and it just seems like I can't do anything right today. I saw a car pull up and Harry got out, rushing over to me and wiping my cheeks. I saw Lisa sitting in the car, arms crossed and glaring at me. I realized I wasn't paying attention to anything Harry was saying to me and I suddenly came back to reality. "What were you saying?" "Are you okay? How long have you been here by yourself?" "I'm okay I guess and I called you right after I walked outside. I sat inside for about 10 minutes before walking out here so about half an hour I guess." I said and he wiped at my cheek. My face felt hot and I could tell my eyes were puffy. "I'm sorry I ruined your date." I said to Harry and looked down. He hugged me to him and whispered to me, "it sucked anyways. All she did was complain about you." "Well, then I'm glad I could save you from such an awful time." He chuckled and pulled back enough to look at me. "You're pretty great." "So are you, rushing to save me and all." "Let's get you home." He said and made sure he was in between Lisa and I. None of us said a word on the way to the house and he kept his arm around me. When we got to the house Lisa rushed to get out of the car and go inside huffing. "How the hell is she still here? She's awful." "Calum is keeping her here." "Of course he is." I said knowing he's keeping her here because him and Mikey think she's hot. We finally dragged ourselves into the house and saw Lisa pretty much sitting in Ashton's lap on the couch. As soon as he saw us walk in he slid her off and pretty much ran over to me. "Liz, I am so sorry. I shouldn't have just left you there. I am so so sorry." "Am I supposed to just forgive you? Deserting me just because you're mad isn't okay." I said and Lisa came over and snaked her hands around his arm, which he shook off. "Would you stop." He said, snapping at her. She ran off and I took my opportunity to walk away and go to my room. I heard footsteps behind me. "Liz, please wait." I heard Ashton say from behind me. "Why? So you can get mad and walk out again? I don't want to constantly wonder if you're just going to get mad and ditch me or not." I said as we got to my door. "I promise that will never happen again." "I don't know, Ash. I have a lot to think about." I said and closed my door behind me, pulling out my phone and plopping down on my bed. I started to text Grayson, hoping he could help me out, then I remembered that he isn't the happiest with me and this show right now so I went to text MJ.
L: hey, I need help with a guy problem M: wow. Never thought I'd hear that from you. What's the problem? L: okay so I'm trying to figure out who the hell I actually like and who I want to like. I'm confusing myself. M: I need more of an explanation than that L: okay, so I'm stuck between Ashton and Harry. Ash is kind of a dick, but for some reason I can't just give up on it. Harry is like coming up for air and he's always there for me. I love having him around and having him there for me. M: well, do you want complicated or someone who will be there for you no matter what? L: obviously someone who will be there for me. M: then what's the problem? L: I don't know. My brain hates me. M: maybe your brain is the problem L: don't get all Cosmo on me. Thanks for the help, MJ M: anytime. Go throw things at people. That's more entertaining. L: bye M: bye
I put my phone down and rolled over on my back. Why do I make this so hard for myself and who the hell am I going to pick?
