A Nightmare's Fate

Paranoia

Chapter Forty-six: Paranoia

Feeling alone as Peri had to run off to do errands; I’m stuck in the house, doing nothing but staring off into space. It feels like my life is gone, every last bit of it. The lies that Errik told, the secrets Kenton kept. I don’t know what’s real or what the truth is anymore. It’s like closing one’s eyes under water so far deep, and they don’t know which way is up or down.

            Sitting in the living room on the couch, I bend my head forwards to my knees and put my hands in my face. While sobbing, I scream as loud as I can. My body wants to take over and just cry as much as it possibly can so it runs out of energy; so I’m able to slow down and stop.

            Suddenly, I hear a faint noise in the distance and it sounds like something hitting against a window. Trying to hold my breath so I’m able to listen to the sound, I sniffle.

            Boom. Boom. Boom.

            There it goes again, I think. Standing up slowly, I try to listen for it. Being able to hear it a few more times, I detect it somewhere in the back, near or in the backyard. When I see the glass door, blood trickles down the window and follows to a bird that lies on its side, non-movable. As I approach the scene a little further up close, another hits the window and does the same thing.

            A little scared, I back away, wide eyed and feeling like I’m in some type of horror movie. As birds keep on hitting the door and crashing on the floor, leaving the window cracked, one bird swoops in and actually gets through. He lands on the counter and looks at me; the head turns to the side like trying to see the world by looking sideways. But by viewing up close to this bird, I realize it’s a raven.

            Narrowing my eyes at the creature, I begin to get closer until a shining bright light beams through my eyes. When I look again, the raven had turned into Kenton. Gazing all around me, feeling paranoia race through my veins, I hit my back against the wall. He’s supposed to just appear in my dreams! Not here in reality! Oh my God . . . Oh my God! I’m losing it!

            Holding myself in my arms, I begin to feel tears cascade down my cheeks. Kenton comes toward me but I slowly shake my head, not wanting him to come closer. “I’m sorry,” he begins. “I didn’t mean it to come down to this.” His fingers linger around my face, his hand trembling like he can’t control his own body. But then his hand brushes locks of my hair behind my ear. “I’m so sorry,” he repeats.

            “Why are you doing this to me?” I whisper, crying.

            “I told you . . . it’s destiny for this to happen.” He slightly smiles and I just want him back even more. It reminds me of the way we used to be, how he’d be so gentle and how he would apologize.

            “But it doesn’t make sense,” I say, my eyes glancing in his.

            “I know it doesn’t, but in time it will.” His lips caress mine and he’s gone.

            “Raven, are you okay?” Periwinkle looks to me and I do the same, but when I look back, everything is gone; Kenton, the birds, even the blood. Where’d it all go? Why am I here?

            Glancing towards back at her, I nod my head. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

            “You sure?” she continues, her face full of fear.

            I proceed to nod.

            “All right . . .” she trails off as she puts items in the refrigerator. “Freddy is in need to be stationed out, as you already heard, so Jessie says that she’s taking a small vacation for a few days and so am I, so the three of us girls can hang out like we used to!” she says all enthusiastic. How can she have no emotions over her husband leaving to Afghanistan?