A Nightmare's Fate

Innocence

Chapter Seventeen: Innocence

I told him not to go. Not to leave my life and let our relationship die. He didn't listen to me. He told me that it'll work out somehow, that he'll come home safe and sound, but I didn't believe one ounce of confidence in his voice. I was right though, all along I was right. Now he's gone and the only challenge I have to face is the fact that the innocent man I once knew, I will never see his eyes again, his smile, the way how his muscles flex when he stretches, the way he breathes, or how delicate his touch is. I will never get to kiss him again, to feel his tongue brush against mine, to feel his warm lips on mine. Everything is gone now, all because of one simple mistake he made.

            I did support him as he went off to the army, but I was just afraid of losing him, scared of the possibility that I'd wake up one morning and realize that he's dead. And that happened. Our kiss before he got in the car and left, that was the last time I ever held him again, the last time I'll ever see him or touch him again.

            I sit on the edge of the bed and hold my torso as a pained tear streams down my face like a small river on my cheek.

            "Raven, get ready for your birthday," Freddy orders, his voice is soft and no longer angry or sad. He closes the door to the room. Freddy, Periwinkle, and Jessie been so kind to me while I'm just dwelling on my past, on my ex-fiancé, on a man who died for his country. Yet I'm so selfish to say that Kenton shouldn't have done that, that he should've stayed home instead of fighting for what's right. Who am I kidding? Fighting for freedom isn't solving any problems anyone has. It's just allowing us to be anxious for pondering which team is going to win.

            And even through this hardship I’m facing and through my friends hating me and all of us fighting because of my reactions and actions, I still love the fact that I have very caring friends.

            I stand up but sit back down as my head starts hurting from the hangover. I take a deep breath and get back up again. I walk over to the bathroom and close the door. Starting the bath, I take my clothes off and step in. The boiling hot water soothes my pained muscles, especially my feet as the liquid tickles beneath my toes. I sit back against the wall and close my eyes.

            My breaths are slow and even. I see a dark sky with bright stars covering it like a beautiful blanket. As I look down to the ground, I see two people looking up at them, smiling and having a good time––Kenton and I––we were star-gazing for one of our dates and he surprised me with buying me a star, calling it "The Raven." I thought it was funny since my name is Raven, I love the bird, and the poem by Edgar Allen Poe. He's one of the many reasons why I love the bird.

            I turn off the faucet and lay down while the water covers my face. I can feel him here with me; I can still feel his touch. But as I sit back up, my breaths heavy from no air, everything fades away. His touch, his silhouette, his smell, the night sky; everything I love is gone and I’m back to reality.

            Once I'm done washing myself, I open the door with a towel around me. Walking up to the bed, I see a blue dress laying perfectly on it with underwear and a bra next to it and blue high heels on the floor. I look at them like I shouldn't put them on, as if I need to put something else on my body. But I force myself to change.

            I sit on a chair in front of my makeup desk, putting shades of blue on my eyes, mascara, eyeliner, and then lipstick. I look through my jewelry drawer to find a pair of earrings and when I put two silver hearts in the holes of my ears, I find an envelope in my drawer. It says: Don't open until twenty-fourth birthday. Curious to find out how it got there and what it is, I open it to reveal a letter. The words are imprinted in pen, the writing is my father's and I see how delicate his cursive is and how long I've forgotten how beautiful it looks. The paper looks to be a few months old as it’s isn't worn out, but there's a few tears here and there.