101 Psychos

#30 - World Domination

Psycho #30 - World Domination -

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A Tale of Grandiose Delusions:

Refers to the specific delusion that one beliefs themselves to be far more important, rich, or powerful than they really are. Often these individuals feel they are above all else, and therefore all else must cater to their desires. Usually, these individuals have no actual power and the delusions beyond belief. But, what if one did hold some power....

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Ahh, it's good to be on top of the world. Mr. President, that's what people call me. I'm a leader and without me the country would crumble.

It's election time again, but I'm not concerned about it. My competitor may have a heart of gold, but he hasn't learned the art of deception through political language. For this reason I am favored to win. Good thing too, because this job is a gold mine.

You would not believe how easy it is to make some extra money! Barely anyone noticed when I canceled our militaries breakfast. Feeding the troops fighting in war is surprisingly expensive. Three meals seems like allot for a guy who's going to be dead soon. Stripping out that one meal saved the country quite the chunk of cash; enough to give Congress a raise.

I fight with my wife frequently, but usually the kids don't see. Once they did though, and I genuinely felt bad about it. I canceled the funding for two schools and a children's hospital. The schools were full of degenerates and problematic juveniles. Most of the kids in the hospital were probably terminal anyways. I took my family on a tropical vacation with the money, and the kids forgave me.

My wife didn't though. We may fight allot, but she needs me. She can't leave and she knows it. I'm the president, of a whole nation! She wouldn't have a penny left if she tried, and I'd get the kids all to myself afterwards. There's no way she'd win a custody battle with someone like me; I'm awesome!

The fighting is worse on Thursday mornings. She's upset with my Wednesday night meetings. I rent the same hotel room every week,and have my most trusted security guard find me a pretty hooker. It's surprising what a few thousand dollars can get you when dealing with slum people. Give $100,000 to any one of those women and they'll let you do anything, and I mean ANYTHING. Most of them limp away after; battered, purple, blue, and swollen. I love showing a whore her place in the world, beating them is half the fun.

I never hid this from my wife, and each Wednesday night she cries herself to sleep. I stopped coming back home those nights. I'm an important man and I need a solid nights rest. She never shuts up though, and her whimpering keeps me awake.

It's a beautiful, sunny day in the south. My wife didn't come to support me this Thursday. I'm hear to give a speech to convince the civilians that gun control is good, and to vote for me so I can make it happen. Most of my comrades believe it can't be done and that the south would never willingly give up their firearms. It's all about deception though,and confusing political terminology. All I have to do is twist it; sell the idea.

I even staged some public shootings to help push the concept. Nothing too big, just some schools, malls, theaters, and parks throughout the country. I kept them small and believable, just frequently occurring.

This is sure to work, I think as I step out on the stage. Thousands of people gather around, chanting and cheering my name. They stretch as far as my eyes can see.

I smile and wave, This is going to work.

I step up to the microphone, front and center, and wait for the crowds enthusiasm to die down. One the hysterics end, I begin speaking.

"Hello beautiful -"

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That guy was a prick. He had no right running a country full of people relying on him. A true monster, one in need of slaying.

I'll never understand why everyone loved him. I guess if you make marijuana legal all your transgressions are forgiven and you become the most adored person alive.

Not anymore.

I watched him step onto that stage, smiling and waving. Once he was standing still, I centered him in my scope. I took my time, knowing I only had one chance to make things right.

I inhaled, then exhaled. Once I reached the end of my breath I felt my hands become steady, and squeezed the trigger. I watched his head nearly explode in a gust of red mist, and knew my target was made.

I saved the world that day. If he were reelected this place would have gone to hell. It was already on its way there thanks to him. Selfish bastard, his greed killed him, not me.

The funny thing is, people say I'm the psycho. I'm the crazy one. They morned his death like good patriotic citizens then proceeded to hunt me down like a dog.

They haven't found me yet, but it's only a matter of time. I don't know what my fate will be; a torturous prison, public execution, or some humane death sentence. Whatever the case be, I did what was right and I'll accept the repercussions like a man should. I won't apologize for my actions.

I did what was right.

Didn't I? Am I crazy? Am I the Psycho? Can God forgive me?

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