Six Feet Under the Stars

I Refuse to Sink

Alex was shaken awake by his mother at three o'clock in the afternoon the next day. His eyes were crusty from leftover tears.

"Alex, you need to wake up. It's three o'clock. You need to eat something,"

He turned his back to her and mumbled. "I'm not hungry,"

She sighed. "Come on, Alex,"

Alex snapped. "Mom, what happened to you being on our side and not letting anything bad happen to us? Huh? Cause now Jack's gone and I don't know where he is or what's gonna happen to him,"

"Honey he chose to leave. He's an adult. What was I supposed to do?"

"I don't know," Alex stuffed his head into the pillow and started crying again. His mom quietly left the room. Alex just wanted Jack back in his arms, safe. Jack had been told his entire life that he was worthless. If he was going "somewhere he belonged" that could be a lot of places.

Alex eventually managed to drag himself out of bed. When he sat up, he noticed his guitar in the corner. He went to it, picked it up, and sat back down. After that, he played it for hours. When he looked back up at the clock it was two in the morning. His fingers were sore from playing for so long but his mind felt a little bit clearer and he had a new song.

I heard that you've been

Self-medicating in the quiet of your room,

Your sweet, suburban tomb.

And if you need a friend,

I'll help you stitch up your wounds.

I heard that you've been

Having some trouble finding your place in the world.

I know how much that hurts,

But if you need a friend

Then please just say the word.

You've come this far,

You're all cleaned up,

You've made a mess again,

There's no more trying,

Time to sort yourself out.

Hold on tight,

This ride is a wild one,

Make no mistake,

The day will come when you can't cover up what you've done,

Now don't lose your fight, kid,

It only takes a little push to pull on through,

With so much left to do;

You'll be missing out, and we'll be missing you.

I heard that you've been

Having some trouble finding your place in the world.

I know how much that hurts,

And if you need a friend

Then please just say the word.

You've come this far,

You're all cleaned up,

You've made a mess again,

There's no more trying,

Time to sort yourself out.

Hold on tight,

This ride is a wild one,

Make no mistake,

The day will come when you can't cover up what you've done,

Now don't lose your fight, kid,

It only takes a little push to pull on through,

With so much left to do;

You'll be missing out, and we'll be missing you.

Grit your teeth, pull your hair,

Paint the walls black and scream, "Fuck the world

'Cause it's my life, I'm gonna take it back,"

And never for a second blame yourself.

Hold on tight,

This ride is a wild one,

Make no mistake,

The day will come when you can't cover up what you've done,

Hold on tight,

This ride is a wild one

Make no mistake,

The day will come when you can't cover up what you've done,

Now don't lose your fight, kid,

It only takes a little push to pull on through,

With so much left to do;

You'll be missing out, and we'll be missing you.

Alex felt a little better. Music was the best therapy he had. He put his guitar away and fell into a peaceful sleep.

At five A.M., Alex awoke to the harsh buzzing of his phone next to him on his nightstand. It was Rian. He answered it.

"Bro what the fuck do you want?"

"Alex," he was breathing heavily. "We found Jack,"