Six Feet Under the Stars

My Friends are Everything

Jack consistently texted Alex throughout the weekend but Alex was too embarrassed to answer. He spent all of Saturday and Sunday laying in his bed, staring at the ceiling, and blasting his favorite songs hoping to block out his thoughts.

On Monday morning, instead of awaking to the sound of his alarm clock like usual, he awoke from his dream. He was standing atop a bridge with cars rushing below him. He closed his eyes and could feel the wind rushing across his face and through his hair. He jumped.

He wished he could do that in real life and not just in his dreams.

Jack was just as persistent in school as he was in his texts but Alex ignored him. He just wasn't in the mood.

"Alex, come on, please talk to me," He pleaded. Alex just grabbed his books and pushed past him, nearly running to his next class.

That night, after Alex mustered enough motivation to finish his homework, he commenced with his routine of laying in bed, staring at the ceiling, and blasting music. He somewhat heard the doorbell ring downstairs but ignored it, thinking it was for someone else. It wasn't like Rian or Zack would come visit him. Suddenly there was a knock at his door. He groaned, rolled his eyes, and shuffled to the door. As he walked, he paused the music and tried to wipe away the tears from his eyes. When he opened the door, a wave of shock hit him almost causing him to fall over. It was Jack.

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Well you won't talk to me and I need to know if you're okay." He said sternly but Alex could tell by his eyes that he was upset and highly concerned.

"Jesus Christ, Jack," Alex sighed, slouching down in the chair at his desk.

"I'm just trying to be your friend, Alex,"

"Since when are we friends? We barely even know each other. It's like you meet me and suddenly care about me more than anything else." Alex angrily replied.

"Look, I know we haven't known each other that long and this may sound weird but, I don't know, I really feel like we have this... connection. And I don't think that shit comes out of no where. So excuse me for caring about you and trying to make an effort to show that." He stated and began to walk out.

Alex gulped. "Jack, wait." Jack turned around and Alex sighed. "I'm sorry, okay? This is the lamest fucking excuse ever but I'm just not used to having friends. I know exactly what you're talking about. And... I care about you too. It's just... I don't know how to show it or accept it." He glanced at the picture of Tom. "I always push everyone away."

Jack looked down for a second and then looked at Alex. "It's okay."

"I told you, Jack, I'm fucked up. That's why I'm ignoring you. You're better off without me. Everyone is..."

"That's not true. Alex, please, just text me so I know you're okay?"

Alex took another big sigh. "Okay. I will."

"I'll see you tomorrow," Jack said and walked out, leaving Alex in an awkward atmosphere.

The next morning, Alex felt a little bit better, but not much. When he went downstairs his mom was badgering him.

"Alex, who was that kid?"

"What, Jack?"

"Yeah, are you guys friends?"

"Yeah, I went to the mall with him, remember?"

"Oh yeah, he seems nice. Why did he come here last night?"

Fuck. How was Alex going to explain this one? "Oh, uh, he just needed to borrow my astronomy notes..."

"Oh," Alex was immediately relieved. She bought it. "This may seem stupid but do you think I could meet him this weekend?"

Alex rolled his eyes behind her back. "Why?"

"I don't know. Don't I have a right to?"

"He's just a kid, mom, it's not like he's gonna come murder me or something."

"Please, honey? My motherly instincts are just telling me something..."

"Mom, you're insane." Alex laughed.

"Just ask him if he can come over."

"Fine,"

"Love you!"

When Alex got to astronomy, before he could get a word out of his mouth, Jack immediately asked how he was. Alex knew he wasn't like Rian. He couldn't lie and brush things off.

He tried to reply honestly. "I don't know. I'm better, I guess. Still not great. But listen, before you start going off on a tangent, I need to ask you something,"

"What's up?"

"I know this sounds weird but my mom wants to meet you, like, properly. So can you like, come to my house for dinner or something this weekend?"

Jack smiled. "Aw that's cute! Yeah, sure. Does Saturday work?"

"That should be fine."

Class started and Alex was thankful that he dodged the bullet of having to talk to Jack about what was wrong. He really didn't need two therapists.