Diary Of A Suicidal Teen

Entry 7

So...it didn't work. Somehow I woke up perfectly fine this morning with only a dry throat.

Now is the one attempt that should work. A rope around my neck whilst the other end is attached upwards. It will leave me to stay held up by the neck, nothing to hold me high enough that I can't escape from myself.

It's not like anybody will notice.

Now, I stand in front of my dresser where the picture of Jason and I is perched. I looked into the white of our teeth. That was the only time I can ever think of when I was truly happy.

"Jason, you have no idea how much you matter to me!" I smile whilst he follows me. My feet carry me through the woods while his mother sits next to a tree, laughing at us and reading.

"You are my best friend! Now get back here you little rodent!" He chuckles before trapping me up  to a tree.

Each hand land on a side of my head and we both were taking deep breaths that we lost when we were running around. He rest us forehead against mine. "I win."

I laugh and poke him in his torso. "Fine, but only because I took it easy on you."

"Ya right. You're sweating."

"To make it seem more believable I was trying,"I winked at him with a giggle.

"Whatever you say!" He backs up with his hands in the air.

"Guys, up to the tree!"Jason's mother, Samantha, smiles with her digital camera hanging from her wrist.

Both of us stand in front of the tree. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and I let myself fall into him with a smile taking over my face. For the first time in my life, it wasn't forced.

He was the only person who ever noticed anything about me.

"What's on your arm?" Jason's eyes peered over to my freshly-exposed arm as. I had just taken my jacket off.

His pencil dropped from between his fingers and his head turned from his text book.

"It's nothing,"I lie, letting my arm drop from the table before I started on my work again.

Jason walked around the dining table and took my arm up to his sight. I couldn't help the self-consciousness that was rising through me and boiling in my veins. Before I knew what was going on, he pressed his lips to the skin, repeating the whole way up my forearm and back before muttering, "please, don't do it again. I can't live without my best friend."

With that, he went back to his spot while I watched him. He was the first to speak.

"Why did people think Christopher Columbus was crazy?" And we were back to studying.

You know, I guess the point of this was to show that there was only one person who actually knew me, and there was the same person who was the only one I ever let in my life. To bad he would be so ashamed if he knew what I was about to do any second now.

My fingers tumble with the rope as I try to hold the journal and get the rope. I'll set this down for a moment to get ready.

Okay, so now the rope is around my neck, the other end is around a part of the ceiling fan. I'm currently standing on a chair with the journal in my hands.

Now that it's actually happening, I'm afraid of this, but there is nothing to stop me. I know this must be the end.

Goodbye.