Diary Of A Suicidal Teen

Entry 2

July 15,2013

So today I skipped over lunch,as usual. I don't eat the same for a long time now. My appetite has gone down,and in the few times I do eat,I normally can't eat that much. My parents feared I have become anorexic. They don't know the truth about me. They don't know about the cuts that go all the way up my arms and legs. They don't know about my food skipping. They don't know that I have stopped doing homework.

Why should I continue on as if nothing was happening? Like I'm not suicidal. Like I don't cut wherever there isn't a scar already. I am going to be ending this battle soon. Soon enough,I will lose all my will power and finally find a way to succeed in my death. By the time anyone finds me, it will be too late. I will be dead,most likely laying across a blood splattered bed with my dark red blood dripping onto my face from where it would manage to reach the ceiling. I would have my cutting knife in my right hand,my goodbye note/will in my left hand. It would be the last anyone saw of me.

This won't happen any time too soon,but I already know,I won't give myself much of a future. I'm tired of listening to my parents argue through shut doors about who's fault it was I locked myself up and stopped talking almost entirely. Tired of not letting people know the real,suicidal me. Sickly tired of listening to my parents trying to bargain me to come out of my room twice a month to have a nice conversation.Tired of covering my whole body in hot clothes to make sure nobody could tell the pain stored up in me.

I made a mental note to try and will myself to wear a tank top and short shorts,to show the collection of years of agonizing pain I have gone through,to let them know I died after a horrible life. It might show them the light that I'm happier and better off with god than down on the hell we humans call earth. This place is rather disgusting really.

Bye for now.

-Lacy,the suicide attempter.