I should have kissed you (1D Niall Horan fanfic)

CHAPTER 12

CHAPTER 12

ALEXIS POV

As I walked out onto the veranda the guilt just stabbed me. Every part of my body felt like running back over to him and give him the kiss he's been waiting for. But one part of me, the part that held me together couldn't do it. My heart.

But did I want to regret anything? Did I want to wish I had done something before I left? But would I end up regretting that I never kissed him and never gave him the clear message that I liked him?

I thought about the last time I would see him again. I thought about Lucy having to pick up the broken pieces of my heart. If I was going to get my heart broken I would have to be strong. I couldn't stop thinking about the times that Lucy had comforted me through the night, lifting my heart to where it was now. I was going to pick up the pieces myself. I wanted Lucy to have a normal life when we moved back to Australia.

By then I had no idea what to do. I was confused and I was still a bit emotional after the fight with Lucy.

I thought for a while and looked out to the sea. The waves moving onto the shore and retreating back out.

What about him? He had no idea what's going on with me.

I thought back to Lucy's words... But I was hurting him by pushing him away, I was hurting him because he was loving me with all his heart and I just pushed him away.

No that is not what's going to happen. I'll have a broken heart in the end but I wouldn't of regretted a thing. I wasn't sure I would kiss him but I was sure that I would tell him I loved him. Even if I didn't say it I wouldn't push him away.

My emotions rushed through me and tears started to fall. Maybe it was a mix of emotions. Maybe it was the fact that I was finally able to tell him I loved him, or maybe it was the thought of leaving him too. I wasn't sure but I knew that the sorrow and pain had left.

I heard the door click open and I turned around. I was glad he came out.

He came over and put his arm over me. The tears weren't stopping but it felt comforted by him. I buried my head into his jumper. The tears slowed down and we just stayed in each others arms for a while. He didn't say anything but that was okay because it was comforting.

"Im sorry." I sniffed. He gently wiped away my tears and whispered, "It's ok. Tell me when you're ready."

"Come on let's start cooking." we walked back to the kitchen together and for once I felt like a huge load had been lifted.