Changing Relations ✔

Chapter 17

I am in a heavy black cloud. Nothing to see. Nothing to hear. Just this heaviness in my whole body. So heavy that I cannot move. I can't remember how to open my eyes. Then I start to hear noises. The buzz of machines. Clicking of feet near me. Quiet talking. I lie still.

Where am I and why? Next I feel some light shining on my closed eyes. I struggle to open them. And with a bit of more struggle, I open my eyes. I am in a bright white place, due to the excess light, I can't see anything clearly. Someone is bending over me. He says my name.

"Hanya...."And again. I try to remember how to talk. No words come, but I blink hard. Again he calls me. Again I try to answer.

"What happened??" I finally asked.

"You were out for a day!!" He said.

Really?? But why I couldn't remember anything, all I remember is fainting!!
I looked around to see everyone was here...and I wondered if my Mom knows about this?? And where's Adeel?? If I'm here then whose staying with Adeel...I suddenly started panicking.

"It's okay...calm down. He's safe...Adeel is safe, he's with Zarine" he said quickly coming to me and I breathed a sigh of relief, but then again how did he came to know, about what I was thinking??

The doctor walked in and came over to the bed.

"Good your awake how are you feeling?" he asked.

With the little strength I had left, I replied "I don't know, I'm feeling very weak."

"Ohh!! It's perfectly okay dear. You'll be fine within a day or two but for that you need to have a good best rest for the next two days." He said and smiled.

"Thank you" he said to the doctor.

"Anytime, and yeah you can take your wife back" the doctor said and patted his shoulder, while we both were staring at each other.

After completing all the formalities, it was finally time for me to leave this place and I'm more than happy to leave this awful place, let's just say last time it didn't go well with this place!!

"Hanya, you go and rest. We'll visit you in the evening." Aunty said

"I want to go with you Aunty" I said looking straight at him, while he kept looking at me with a neutral expression. Doesn't he care for once also?? Is he that cold??

"Sure, child. That's your home too" she said and I started walking with her which was very much adjacent from his car, where he was standing!!

I got in the car and just then his car zoomed passed us, in full speed...

I was now lying down with Adeel beside me. It's been three hours and he hasn't even called me for once also. I know, I was rude to him...and I shouldn't have behaved like that. That was the breaking point of my patience. At that moment, I was blinded by a five-course serving of rage that tasted bitter, yet surprisingly satisfying.

There are times my brain fries up. It's no excuse I know; I own my behaviour. I try to help, try to be good, and then a trigger is flicked. My emotions turn - cold, fearful, anxious... I back away, flee or strike out at someone who loves me. In these moments I am least proud of who I am, for I fail to be the warrior I was born to be, the strong woman with the softness of a mother.

I know these are things for me to work on, not for others to mitigate, I am an adult after all. Yet I ask for consideration, that my fear triggers are left alone until I find a way back to being calm and steady. I have been stable many years, caring for others, pouring out love without measure, yet never knowing how to ask for it. It is the only medicine that can heal this fractured soul.

I felt guilty, but I wasn’t able to stop. So many years of image were sunk deep into my mind and added a divine spice that completed the vexed dish I was serving. I knew I should’ve put an end to it, apologize before I made it worse, but I just didn't have it in me to stop.

"Hani..." Zarine knocked.

"Zarine you shouldn't be knocking dear" I said as she walked in.

"Well, I thought you were sleeping which you should be doing." She tried to be angry but failed miserably!!

"I'm trying...but I can't put myself to sleep." I sighed.

"Missing bhai??" She said out of nowhere and in return my face heated up!!

"I've many things on my plate rather than this" I scoffed.

"Yeah, I know that you've only bhai on your plate" she said and I glared.

"Oh please!! It's nothing like that"

"Oh please!! It is like that..."

"Zarine..."

"Haniiii...look I know that you both had fought" she said suddenly and I was dumbstruck like always. "And I also know the reason behind it. Hani I know that this relation isn't easy for any of you and we all know what you're going through or how are you feeling. Hani we all know that you took this decision only for Adeel and for this we are very much grateful to you, because we all know nobody can treat Adeel this nicely except you.

Everything will be okay Hani, just give some time." She said.

"You know Zarine, I'm not in denial...I know very well what I've done. But whenever I see him or Adeel, I could only see her in them. They were her shadow and she was their soul...it feels like, I've invaded their privacy!! And I know it's not easy to forget your five years relationship in just a blink...!! I'm not expecting anything from him because we both know that we can never be a couple.

I did this for Adeel" I said looking outside the window.

"And I accepted you only for Adeel" came his booming voice from my behind and I turned.