Mafia in Death - an In Death series fanfic (J.D. Robb)

Chapter 5

Roarke gave Eve her personal space when she went away the whole time they travelled in the yacht to reach the mainland. She didn’t speak or even shed any tears, and wore a blank expression that even him couldn’t decipher what’s in her head. It was a torturous 30-minute journey for Roarke, and he didn’t know where to vent his anger – to the man who was seeking a child connected to Eve, or to himself who happened to know the whole story.

Don Miguel was his mentor, his opener to international connections, and even though their values clashed, he was a friend, a bloody friend, who would never do such lengths if the information was not highly sensitive. And like Roarke, he was also a possessive and dangerous man.

Eyeing the abandoned glass used by the Don, he pulled a clean cloth and covered it for his further analysis.

When they got on their plane, Eve just brushed him off and went straight to the cabin.

It was so painful for him to see her curling herself on the recliner. She didn't even remove her stilts or complained on her back-bared gown like she used to. When he sat beside her and brushed her arms with his fingers, she didn’t stir.

It was like a stab in his heart, so overwhelming he knew this time, he’ll going to break Eve.

“Baby, take this soother. You were distraught and shaken. Please, agrah, talk to me.”

Eve motioned to sit, took the liquid from Roarke, drank it straight without complains, and lie down again in silence. She had this similar condition when her badge was taken from her, but not like this – so broken.

He wanted her to be in rage because she could vent out what’s in her mind, but in this scenario, he was scared for her, and for himself.

“You will talk to Mira.”, he said.

“Okay.”

That simple answer had alarmed Roarke. When he pulled her closer to his and looked at her face, he was at loss. It was unlikely for her to agree easily in taking medicines or even evaluating her mind. This was not her Eve.

“Goddamn it, Eve! You have to gather yourself and say something! Why don’t you get mad and tell me what’s inside that brain of yours! Tell me that you’re mad at somebody, anybody, or me! You’re mad at me, hated me for bringing you here, and despised me to know I have another connection in your past! Oh God.”

Roarke hugged Eve tightly and shuddered when she didn’t stir.

Finally, she spoke. “You knew.”

He did not answer. He just moved her into his lap and cradled her like the ones he did whenever she had nightmares. It was a small relief to see those golden eyes were no longer in blank slate.

“I am fucked up, Roarke.”

“You were never been a fucked-up, Eve. Never.”, he replied calmly but his eyes were vicious. “You define yourself, whatever your pasts are. What we have learned tonight will never change who you are and what we have right now. Remember that.”

Eve managed to grip Roarke’s wrist, and saw his swollen knuckles. She knew he had pummelled some faces during the chase, but his hands were not that severe, and these were fresh wounds. He must have pummelled something somewhere, and then destroyed.

“I don’t know who am I now.”, she said between sobs.

“But I know you, my beloved Eve. You’re Lieutenant Eve Dallas, a homicide cop, a solid one, with a mind sharper like a knife and a generous heart like gold. You were my miracle, my heart and my soul, and the only woman I have truly loved. I am nothing without you, and I cannot live without you.”