Afire Love // Dan Howell

Chapter 46

You and Phil managed to get Dan safely back to the apartment and into his bed, allowing him time to get his breath and strength back properly. He seems to be continuosly requesting glasses of Ribena and cuddles, which you are more than happy to give. He also keeps complaining about his muscles aching which suggests his body is slowly becoming weaker but you're not letting that effect your remaining time together.

"Hey (y/n)" Dan smirks from under his covers, "Do you remember the time when I got you drunk for the first time back in high school?"

You giggle and shake your head, sitting on the end of the bed.

"Oh god. Don't remind me!" You blush, covering your face with your hands.

"You were so funny!" Dan laughs, "You really wanted me to get up and dance with you!"

"Stop!" You groan, "That's so embarassing!"

"Nah it's not! You just really wanted to slow dance." He replies with a wink.

Picking up his pillow and gently throwing it at him, you continue to cringe. Dan continues to chuckle and grasps a hold of the pillow, pulling it to his side.

"I never told you actually." He mumbles.

Puzzled, you raise an eyebrow and fold your arms.

"Told me what?" You ask.

"What you said to me."

Now incredibly worried, you move closer up the bed as if to interrogate him.

"What did I say? I don't remember much after the slow dance."

"I eventually got you off the dancefloor and took you outside for some fresh air.  You were talking all kinds of gibberish but one thing you said struck me and stayed with me, even to this day." Dan explains, reaching out for your hand, "You were all over me and obviously I tried to stop you because you were drunk but eventually I got you to calm down after you threw up in the drain."

You feel your face turn crimson but you continue to listen as Dan has a mischevious smile on his face.

"We sat down on the floor, leaning against the old brick wall of the school, my arm around you to keep you safe and warm. You told me there and then that you loved me."

"You knew this whole time?" You gasp in embarrassment.

"Of course I bloody did!" He giggles, "I just never said anything because I felt the same way."

You snuggle down beside Dan and place your forehead against his, your eyes staring lovingly into his. It really was going to be you both all along.

"Guys."

Snapping out of your nostalgic moment, you turn over to see Phil standing in the door way, biting his lip.

"What's up Philly?" Dan asks, looking up.

"I was just on the phone to the hospital and they have suggested that Dan stays in bed for...the rest of his time." He responds, walking further in and shuffling next to you both.

Hearing Dan sigh beside you brings a lump to your throat; you can't help but feel guilty having to watch him deteriorate. He's now bedbound and that means you may never see Dan on his feet again, which is an incredibly upsetting thought.

"Phil." Dan croaks, "Can you get my tablets please?"

Shocked that Dan is actually giving in to help now, Phil's mouth gapes open. You just wish Dan had accepted help sooner. Maybe, just maybe, he'd be in a different situation right now if he had.

"S-sure. Where are they?" Phil responds, swinging his legs off the side of the bed.

"Top of my piano."

Phil stands up and approaches the piano, in search for Dan's tablets, whilst you grasp onto Dan's hand and lay your head on his shoulder. You feel Dan briefly place his lips on the the top of your head but the delicacy concerns you. With two capsules in his palm, Phil paces over to the other side of the bed and places them down on the bedside next to Dan.

"Let me just get you some water." Phil smiles, walking back around the edge of the bed and out of the room.

Dan attempts to pull his body further up the bed to lean up against the headboard but you can see that his body is practically refusing, causing him to struggle and your heart to sink. You decide to sit up and hold onto his arms, helping him up. You see him welling up with tears and shaking his head in disbelief that this is what he is having to deal with and it breaks your heart.

"Daniel." You whisper comfortingly, "It's okay. Don't fight it. Just give in. I'm here for you."

Dan turns his head to look at you and just nods, his lips pursed and eyes glossy. You go to kiss him but he just moves away just like before. You give him an understanding smile and give him his space, backing off a little. You go to say something but before you can, Phil's heavy footsteps approach the room.

"Here we go." Phil sings, bringing Dan his glass of water and handing him the tablets.

At a slow pace, Dan places each capsule in his mouth and places the cold glass to his dry lips, letting the medicine enter his system. His hand frail, he nearly drops the half-empty glass onto the floor but Phil is therebto catch it and place it back down onto the table.

"How's your breathing doing Danny?" Phil asks, perching beside Dan's legs on the bed.

"My breathing?" Dan repeats, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Yeah." Phil says, "The nurse on the phone said that she'll be visiting you tomorrow just to check up on things and she said that if you feel like you need assistance in breathing, she can put a nasal catheter in for you."

"A nasal-cathe-what-now?" You question.

"A nasal catheter." Phil repeats, "It's a tube that goes up the nose to help with breathing."

"Oh." You respond.

"Well I guess it's getting harder to catch my breath more and more, especially after today's walk." Dan admits, lowering his head.

You put your arm around him and begin rubbing small, delicate circes against his back with the pad of your thumb to soothe him.

"Okay. Well maybe tell the nurse that tomorrow. For now, try and get some rest." Phil says.

Dan just sighs and continues to stare at the bed sheets. You can tell he is already fed up with the pain of a waiting game. Phil looks up at you, signalling that Dan needs some alone time and you immediately pull the covers off your lap and get off of the bed too. Phil smiles at Dan and then walks out of the room. You go to follow him but turn around before you leave the room completely and watch as Dan slowly snuggles back down, his face tight as if he is just putting up with the pain.

It's only a matter of time now until he won't have to anymore.

A/N HEY! I keep taking incredibly long breaks from writing which I apologise for but I guess college/sixth form is getting the better of me and I've also had a hard, emotional time at home recentely with the loss of my dog. But I thought I'd start up writing again to get this fic done and then I can write another for you all! Hope that's okay! But anyway, just to remind you, Dan had been told to stay in bed after struggling in town earlier and now he is in a lot of pain and finding it hard to continue breathing. How will the visit with the nurse go? How is Dan going to be? And what you are all waiting for, how long until he is finally at peace?  Find out soon and don't forget to vote and comment if you enjoyed this chapter! Much love

~ Katie x