You sat looking at yourself in the mirror.
The black dress hung to your knees and was loosely fitted but not baggy.
It was one of Damien's favorites.
You stared at yourself, tears slowly filling your eyes.
Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry.
You took a deep breath then sighed.
Maybe you should give Bucky a call.
No.
He would urge you not to go to the funeral.
Not to punish yourself.
But you had to. You owed him that much.
A year ago you and Damien were happy. Truly happy.
He loved you and you loved him.
You were talking about moving in together and getting a cat named Mittens.
Eventually you thought he'd propose and you'd get married and have three beautiful children.
But here you were about to bury him.
Instead of starting a life he ended his.
Because of you.
No one had to tell you that.
You knew it was because you couldn't stand to be around him any more.
You let out a shaky breath as you still fiddled with your dress in the mirror.
Today was the wake.
Due to all of the blood you saw and the head wound he caused it would probably be a closed casket.
You couldn't even see him one last time.
It hurt. You didn't think something could hurt so much.
You wished Bucky was here with you to hold your hand and kiss you and tell you it would all be okay, but he had his own problems.
You were shaken out of your thoughts by the sound of your ringing phone.
You slightly jumped as it shocked you.
You reached over and grabbed it.
"Hello?" You answered as normally as possible.
"Hi doll." Bucky's smooth voice came through on the other end. "I haven't heard from you since I left. Miss me yet?" He teased.
You bit your lip trying not to cry,"Yes." Your voice came out as as shaky whisper.
"Baby." He said firmly, "what's wrong?"
You didn't want to tell him but you didn't want to lie.
"I just wish you were here."
"So do I baby doll. So do I." He paused and sighed.
"Have you found Steve?"
"No. I found where he was staying I just need to retrace his steps."
"Oh. Well don't let me keep you."
He sighed,"Sweetheart. What's really wrong?"
"I...today is Damien's funeral."
He sighed,"Please tell me you're not going."
"I have to."
"Doll, you're punishing yourself."
"I can't leave him alone like that Buck!" You snapped at him. "He needs me. You know that."
YOU ARE READING
Doll - Winter Soldier Fanfic
Fanfiction"Buck." You stopped him. He looked at you from across the room. He took his hand off the door knob and faced you still silent. He knew what you were thinking. "I can't." He began. "I need to be careful. I don't want to hu-" You groaned cutting him o...
