When I got inside the house it was dead silent nobody seemed to be here. The only sound you could hear was, the television. As I opened the door I saw Marques sitting on my bed. His eyes were low and red which meant that he had been smoking.
"Where were you Jordan I've been calling for the past hour. I got some enemies out for me and if they know that you my girl they may try and take you away from me." He said in a worried weary tone, not even looking in my direction.
"I was just out with a friend, I didn't mean to worry you."I sighed."Why you claiming me as your girl when you haven't even asked me to be yours yet?"
He looked me dead in the eyes and turned my head gently so I was looking at him. "Jordan will you be, my girl,my main, my woman, my ride or die whatever you want to be called."
"I don't know we have only been talking for awhile and I don't want it to seem like we moving things to fast, unless...Never mind." I said shaking my head and looking the other direction.
"Jordan,I honetly don't care what you think about past niggas.I'm not like that and I never will be. I'm a down ass nigga and I'm faithful to my girl especially if I care about this girl with all my heart.I mean I would take a bullet for you. You will always be mine." Marques got up off of my bed and walked right out of the front door. Taking a piece of my heart with him that I might never get back.
Once he left I honestly didn't think I could bear with myself I knew I was in the wrong, but I didn't want to end up like the rest of those girls. All these thoughts running through my mind. I looked down at my wrist, but quickly shook the thought away from my head. I knew cutting would not get me anywhere but back in the hospital. I thought about how the cool metal blade felt against my skin as it tore through my skin and the blood flowed out of my body giving me the relief that I needed. Again and again the thought came back into my head. The only time I use to cut is when I was getting bullied for being dark skin. Honestly I don't see why it was such a big deal to everyone. If I didn't know any better I would think that we were separated races because of how we classify ourselves. No wonder why other races looked down at us. You don't see white people classifying each other into categories.
"Ughhh!" I sigh out in frustration and defeat because I am letting society run my decisions. My hard walls have been broken and I am just now noticing the change in myself. Who am I becoming some little girl whose feelings are all over the place just because of a boy, I believe not that is not who my parents have raised me to be. They raised me to be a strong young lady who no one get in her way or puts her down. I got so much going on and for school to be starting tomorrow I'm going to going there acting like brand new me. No I am not about to turn into total bad ass, but I am just going to improve on myself. Keep my grades up and my head in the books because apparently the gang is not going to lead me anywhere into trouble so I think I'll focus on trying to get my basketball and track scholarship because I do plan on going to collage after my senior year is over. Right now I'm not absolutely what I want to go to school for, but I do know that I want to go for something to do with law. Maybe a sports attorney or something.
I walked over to my closet and grabbed my iPod music player so I could play music while I prepped myself for tomorrow. The song How Many Drinks By Miguel ft. Kendrick Lamar came on and I fell in love with Kendrick's voice I mean I always liked him, but dang that boy has flow. Anyways I pranced over to my closet and pulled out some random pieces of clothing. I want some to wear something that will compliment my hair which is recently in Havana twist because I am on a challenge to wear my naturally curly hair. I grabbed my high waist distressed jeans since it has been rather chill in Michigan. I also grabbed my black stay weird crop top with a neon green bandeau top. I paired the outfit with my black out doc Martin boys and a neon green now to pin in my bun. Did I ever mention I have braces. yeah my teeth used to be so messed up and I was an ole buck tooth child. Real pretty eyes though well at least that's what people tell me. there deep chocolate brown eyes. their not black but like the same color of a Hershey bar.
