Selfharm/depressed/Dark poems

Imagine this if your suicidal

Imagine this;

You wake up one morning, you take a deep breath and pull yourself out of bed. You do your hair , make-up and get dressed. You walk into the kitchen and find the note your mom has written telling you to have a good day. You grab your back-pack and walk out the door to catch the bus. You get on the bus and these girls start calling you 'bitch, freak, loser' , you just sit there and take it. You get to school, say hi to your friends and your best friend. You get to your locker and find a note stuck to your locker saying 'emo freak', you rip off the note and go to class. You get to class, find a seat and your teacher starts the lesson that you dont understand. You ask the kid next to you for help and he calls you stupid. You ask the teacher for help, he tells you three times and you still dont get it, he starts to yell at you. You start to cry and he sends you to the office.

They tell you to phone home cause they think maybe you just need some time for yourself. You call home and nobody answers, you play it off as if their coming to get you. You dont live far from the school so you walk. You get home, walk to your room, close the door and you burst out in tears, crying harder than ever before. You feel so tired of life, you finally hit your all time low. you get up think for a second, its time, you thought of it before but this time your gunna do it.. your going to kill yourself. Nobody will know.. till later. You start rumaging threw drawers and closets looking for a gun, knife, rope, anything. You finally found a rope, and then instead of getting a note and pen, you go get a cam recorder. You go back to your room, set the camera on your desk, put a chair under  the fan. You tie the rope to the fan, while the other end is already around your neck. You turn on the camera, take a breath and start your message.

'Dear mom and dad, im sorry, im so very very sorry for what im about to put you threw, i just hit my breaking point, tell my sister i love her and that im sorry, stay strong' You say sorry to your bestfriend cause you know you will no longer will be there for her when she needs you most. You say sorry to everyone you possibly could think of cause you couldnt stay strong any longer. You turn off the camera, then you go off. The chair tips over, then the house goes silent. Your dead, theres no going back. You Kept everything bottled up inside, not talking about it, smiling, acting happy, finally got to you. For a little bit you even convinced yourself you were happy but once you got home, the names would come back and you would cry till you fell asleep.

Your mom, dad and sister get home, and the house is quieter than usual. They call out your name but nobody answers, so they think maybe your just having a shower or a nap. You mom comes up stairs to see if your doing your homework, she opens your door and she stands their in shock, she loses her breath seeing you hanging from the ceiling with tears running down her face. Your sister and dad comes up stairs to see what taking so long and he sees you there, he quickly picks up your sister and shields her eyes and runs for the phone. He dials 911, he can barely get the words out 'my daughter committed suicide', by now he's crying your dad never cries. The police and paramedic get to your house, they bring your family out of the room, then they take you off the string, put you on the stretcher and take you out. Your older sister gets home and she asks what happened and your family starts crying.....

Its been 2 weeks since your suicide, your parents finally go into your room, they make your bed, put the rope into the trash, and pick up the cam recorder and put it in your drawer, they dont even dare to watch it, it will never be seen, they close the door for good, it is now off limits. but your mom stairs out of your window for hours, sometimes the whole day, your dad has been working nights to pay for your funeral and awake instead of helping your family to get threw it, your sisters still hasn't returned to school, and your school is still in shock. That teacher who was too hard on you, quit his job because he felt he was unfit to be a teacher anymore even though he was hard on you because he thought you were the only one who as gunna get somewhere in life. Your best friend cuts herself everyday because she thinks that if she only asked you whats wrong now and then and helped you get threw it you would still be alive. That guy that bumped into you in the hallway and kept walking as you laid on the ground is in therapy 4 times because he thinks he should of stopped said 'sorry' and helped you up. Your crush is depressed because he regrets not giving you a chance. Your friends are crying every night because they didnt see the signs. Everyone is hurting, you didn't see how much people cared about you.

1 year has passed by your sisters started a webpage and group for anyone who needs someone, if they were suicidal, depressed, feeling alone or they self-harm they ha e someone to go to, they didnt need to worry about being judged. You see that was your problem you kept everything bottled inside because you didnt see all the people willing to listen and help.

Well.. if you still kill yourself, go ahead but you don't realize how much people your gunna hurt.

Your not as alone as you think, I'm here for you, I'm an inbox away <3

~Darling you'll be okay <3

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