Book One: Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children (My Remake)

A Movie Rant/Review

Hey there, so I'm the author (yes, hello, hi, good to see you're still here), and this is my rant.../review. Though this is a fanfic, I feel obligated to express my VAST opinion on this movie, especially since it's now forever imbeded into our fandom's history...oh boy. Anyway, since this isn't a chapter, there will be tons of these quirky things of how I would actually say things with pauses...swears...and overall bad grammar. You have been warned.

And of course this is a ****MAJOR SPOILER**** to anyone who hasn't seen it, so look away, shut down your computers, chuck your phones out the window, or take a hammer and reduce your screen to powder [28ShadesOfBlue is not liable of any damage] because you will NOT like what you're about to see if you at all favour the movie overall.

But yeah, you have been warned.

So anyway, I'll just right to it with some pros, meh's and cons.

PROS

-Absolutely BEAUTIFUL landscape and setting. Just GORGEOUS. They couldn't have picked a better area if they tried.

-And the house?? Omg, so amazing, both destroyed and pristine. Beautiful. (Though I think they took more time looking for places to film than writing the movie...*sizzle* buuurn)

-AMAZING casting job with Eva Green. Such a perfect role for her.

-Anything that had to do with water just blew my mind. The beach, the waves, the underwater boat scene. Just OMG.

-Awkward Jacob awkwardly stacking awkward tower of awkward adult diapers while awkwardly trying to strike up an awkward conversation with a meh girl in weird 2016 outfit who happened to be at a random Smart-Aid with friends. I thought the scene was pretty funny

-THOSE OPENING CREDITS OMG THAT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL AND THE MUSIC MADE ME WANT TO CRY TEARS OF JOY

-MUSIC.

-The sets tbh

-LITTLE JACOB WAS PERFECT

-Good wardrobe department

-Really liked the whole "the mistress needs to kill this hollow every damn day and it happened to kill Victor along the way" and the fact that they grew a big bush fence in front so the children wouldn't need to see it

-Daily chores that they repeat every. damned. day.

-ALL THE JARS OF HEARTS (despite the uses for them, but we shall get to that)

-I actually really liked the twins. I thought they gave a good quirky feeling to the family, but were cute and strange at the same time. And that peculiarity reveal tho

-I really liked the setting for the Priest Hole (despite the movie never explaining the name and not actually being how I imagined it, but oh well). And you all know how big of a setting the Priest Hole is to me and this fic

-Actor for Kev was pretty fun

-Fiona throwing seeds and trapping a wight was pretty awesome

-Hugh opening his mouth and the bees instantly swarm out was pretty funny

-JACOB SAT ON MILLARD AND "polite persons do not take their supper in the nude" WAS SO PERFECT.