Can You Hear Me? (joesuggxcasparlee)

-11-

Listen up now, turn up the love... Who's gonna Save The World Tonight? - Swedish House Mafia, Save The World...

Caspar's POV:

I stood there as Joe cried into my shoulder. He felt so small and fragile, why did I have to damage him like this? I broke out of the hug and looked at Joe, he looked so lifeless and delicate, I know for a fact he hasn't been coping just looking at him. I looked into his dull grey eyes, they used to be blue and burst with life but he's changed... This isn't the Joe I knew and that's why I have to help him because I love him so much.

A million thoughts flew through my mind and I felt tears rolling down my cheek... I hate crying it shows I'm weak but Joe has been doing it for months I need to prove to him I'm not strong and I used to act. Joe looked at me and smiled "don't cry Casp that's my job, its all I do," he sighed as Zoe looked up at me. I look at Joe wiping tears from my face, "well maybe it's my turn Joe... I'm sorry I'm sorry for making the last few months miserable," I took a deep breath and sighed "come on Joe maybe we should order pizza and have some food. Please eat for me and Zoe are friends are coming around after." Joe looked down at his feet and shook his head. Zoe sighed and left the room and Joe looked at me "why do I make a mess of everything Casp? I mean look at me and now the worst part of it Zoe must think I'm a failure!" I felt a few tears fall down my face as he spoke, "you aren't a failure Joe please don't say these negative things about your self, Zoe is just worried about you as am I... Joe your viewers are too have you even checked twitter in the past few days?" Joe shook his head at me. I sighed as we sat down on the bed and I showed him the screenshots of tweets I had on my phone. One stood out the most to the both of us though and it read:
@joe_sugg please be ok your recent videos are worrying us... you keep wearing jumpers and you look like you've lost a lot of weight

I saw joe put his head in his hands and cried I pulled him tightly into my chest and we just sat there...

Until we heard a bang on the front door 20 minutes later and Joe looked up at me "thanks" he whispered as we got up and heard our friends enter the apartment. All night people asked how I was but I kept my eye on Joe who was just sat in the corner with a glass of water. "Earth to Caspar," Marcus and Zoe said worryingly. As I turned to face them Marcus shifted a look over at Joe and sighed and looked back at me. "Why does he look like he's finished Casp?" Zoe whispered with a few tears falling down my face and I shook my head. He looked so tired and I walked over to him and I knelt down "Hey Joe," I sighed this was my moment to tell him and explain everything, "can I speak to you in private please?" He looked at me and nodded as we walked downstairs together. We both sat on the end of his bed and he looked worryingly at me damn those deep blue eyes kill me every time.
"I'm just gonna c-come out with it, please joe promise you won't j-judge m-me," I stuttered and Joe nodded answering 'of corse Casp I'll never judge you.' I took a deep breath...

"I-I'm g-gay Joe," I said nervously easing a bit as he words left my mouth. "I'm gay!" I whispered smiling at him. Joe looked at me smiling and his bright blue eyes piecing through me and a tear streaming down his face and he hugged me tightly whispering "I'm so proud of you Caspy. So am I... I'm gay..." I looked at him and said "wow I'm proud of us both Jojo!" and he giggled.

But there more I wanted to say and let out about my feelings for him and how much I love him and I'm worried about his health physically and mentally... I wish I could but I can't yet.

Joe looked at me "Casp I'm aching and I'm tired," he whispered his voice shaking a little.

"Hush Joe I'm here let's put you to bed and get a nice sleep for once."
As Joe got into bed his face glistened but still looked down as I walked back to the stairs I heard footsteps walking down and I saw Zoe standing in front of me. "How is he Caspar?" She said looking down at her feet and then looking back into my eyes, I've never seen Zoe look so desperate about something before.

"He'll get there Zoe, I promise I'll always be there for him." I answered as I hugged her tightly.

Guess who's back me again I finally updated... I had serious writers block I'm so sorry.
Anyway time to do a bit of self promo I guess *yay* so I'm in the middle of starting a new fanfic and it'll be called The South African Player... that's all I'll explain for now but I'll tell you when it's up so please follow so you don't miss it ☺️
Hope you enjoyed the chapter and until next time 💜