Alpha...

Mid-night snack

"Jenna" My shoulder shook as Conan gently laid his hand on it. I opened my eyes slowly, fully aware of how awkwardly I had fallen asleep, my head slumped unceremoniously on my shoulder. Rowan still lay in my arms sleeping soundly, her head curled into my hip.

"It's late" He explained, his eyes sliding from mine down to Rowan with a renewed sense of interest. Theo had definitely told him about the Wacky Warehouse incident and I was willing to bet that he'd also filled Conan in on the violent history of witches. I held her to me a little tighter, inhaling her soft, sweet smell before loosening my grip and sliding out beneath her.

To my surprise Conan steadied me, keeping a firm grip on my arm as I swayed a little unsteadily on my feet, his warm hand sent a series of rhythmic pulses through my arm and for a long second I thought he  wouldn't let go but his hand fell and slid into his pocket.. It caused my eyes to run over his face a little longer, sliding from his strong nose to his gritted jaw and full lips before meeting his striking eyes. There was a moment, all be it short, that I could almost see myself staring to those eyes with more than contempt.

I kissed Rowan on the forehead wishing her a goodnight before following Conan back into his room. It would be the second time I'd sleep with him and I still felt the same god damned butterflies fluttering around in my stomach.

I can't tell; is it nerves or anticipation? Are my peaceful nights of just sleeping numbered? I had to wonder, especially with the way his shoulders were set and his hands were fisted, maybe I should be worried. As soon as he reached his room he had moped over to the bathroom and slammed the door shut. My mouth hung open a little in surprise.

Had I pissed him off...again? I had been asleep for Christ sake it couldn't have been me. I stood in his room a little lost. Trying to re-gather myself as I looked through my mountain of bags for my PJs. They were plain, a soft cotton material that hung from my thin legs in a way that was unflattering. The top was simmarily baggy and was only slightly fitted around my bust. They were comfy though and covered my leg, that’s what mattered most. I climbed into his bed, once again feeling stiff under his sheets and unable to relax. I would have much preferred to sleep with Rowan tonight. That being said I was glad she was getting used to sleeping on her own. I guess I just had to get used to sleeping with Conan. It isn't like his bed was uncomfortable or anything in fact it was ridiculously snug but sleeping with him so close by was strangling. I'd hardly slept at all last night.

  I sighed in relief when I heard the shower go and let my head drop onto the plush pillow below.

It took will power but eventually I shut my eyes and slowly began to relax imaging Rowans soft snores and pudgy hands pressed against my chest. Hopefully she would be sound asleep now. Would I hear her cry if she weren't? I groaned in dismay. No Jenna, for goodness sake she's fine. Of course you'll hear her.

I curled on to my side, like a hedgehog and grabbed the pillow, hugging it tight. It was how I used to sleep when I had a bed of my own. There was something so comforting about going back to something so familiar that I found my body relaxing and my muscles unwinding as I finally let my aversion to Conan’s bed go. It was just a bed, sure it smelt of him and was driving me insane but it was just a bed.

My mind wandered when my eyes shut. It wandered to things that I hadn't yet had the chance to ponder over, my new position in the pack and how in the hell I was going to convince anyone I was fit for the role of Luna when I couldn’t even convince myself. Luna, it came with so many responsibilities that I wasn’t ready for. I didn't have the personality for it, I was neither demanding nor organised. I wasn't exactly mother hen either, I barely managed to keep Rowan and I alive over the last year and that was just two people, including myself. How embarrassing and worse yet everyone would know what I really am, a charity case.