Letters I [k.th]

First visit

     She slowly sat down by his grave, whimpering. She parted her lips, wanting to speak, but nothing came out. Her tears were as visible as the sun. She looked at the sky, trying her best to avoid looking at the gravestone, which held every inch of proof that he was no longer there with her. The sky was blue and the sun shone like there was no tomorrow. The birds were almost as silent as Krystal.

     "It's been twenty three days, honey," she whispered, not bothering to remove the hair strand that flew in between her lips.

     "This is my first time visiting you. Do you like my dress?" She said, standing up and twirling.

     They always told us a beloved person's death would depress you, but they never said anything about it making you go crazy. They never said anything about bipolarity.

     "I'm sorry I'm late," she sobbed, kneeling down again.

     "I couldn't bring myself here. I couldn't bear the fact that you were no longer there with me."

     But he was with her, wasn't he?

     He might've been physically absent, but for someone who loved someone else so much, would he really not watch over her?

     "I wrote you some letters," she desperately screamed.

     Krystal couldn't embrace the truth of him being gone for 23 days. He wasn't only gone for 23 days. He was gone for good.

     She wrote him a few letters, trying her best to convince herself into thinking he'd get to read them one day. She woke up every single day, stood by the door, all dressed, waiting for him to pick her up and take her out for breakfast.

    She always knew he wasn't there, but she didn't want to accept it. Deep down, she believed he was still around her. She would stay up all night, talking to him, even though he wasn't there. She kept on listening to his voicemail. She held onto it as if it was the only reason she was still alive.

     "They say goodbyes are the worst, but they never mentioned having to cope with what comes after the goodbyes," she whispered, still sobbing.

     She ripped the envelope, pulling a piece of paper out.

     "I'm going to read my letters for you. I'll visit you on a daily basis for the next 23 days. I never gave you the permission to leave me all by myself," she smiled, wiping away her tears.