The Dark Side

~7~

Surprisingly the holocron was easy to get. An old monk had it stashed away and handed it over when he saw that the pair were Jedi. They got back to the ship, set it on autopilot and then cleaned themselves up. Ben's side had gotten infected (just like Neri'el said it would) and she had to clean it out. After patching him up, she had tried to clean her face without looking in a mirror. Ben then stole the rag and gently wiped her face off for her.

They got back to the temple as fast as possible, wondering what they could say to explain why they got sidetracked. However as soon as they landed and Luke strode over to them he cut off their excuses with a wave of his metal hand. His troubled grey eyes found Neri'el's emerald ones and he glanced between her and Ben.

"May I have a word with you, Padawan Aspenstra?" Luke asked in a tone that left no room for argument.

Neri'el glanced worriedly back at Ben before exiting the ship. Luke nodded his thanks to Ben before turning and leaving with Neri'el.

Ben stood watching them from the shade of the ship. His fingers clenched around the hydraulic supports unnoticed by the pair.

Luke led Neri'el to an old willow tree near the training grounds. Younglings had their lightsabers out and were playfully fighting in the midday sun. Luke sighed heavily turning back around to face his young padawan.

Well not so young anymore.

Neri'el was now a sixteen year old Jedi Padawan well on her way to becoming a powerful Jedi Knight just like her father.

A pang went through Luke as he raised his eyes to look at the confused girl in front of him.

"Padawan Aspenstra," he began slowly, "You were brought here by your father and mother when you were just a child due to your abilities with the Force."

Neri'el nodded trying to figure out what he was getting at.

"Padawan it grieves me to inform you that, your father and mother, were both murdered by The First Order."

Shock and disbelief spread like wildfire through Neri'el.

'No. No. It can't-what is he saying?'

Luke watched her through deeply saddened grey eyes.

"I am very sorry for your loss, Neri'el," he whispered before walking past her towards the younglings.

Neri'el watched him go feeling like she had just been punched in the gut. She blinked and a solitary tear slipped down her cheek.

Her disbelief and utter bewilderment began to subside as soft footsteps reached her ears. With a sickening sense of dread, she recognized the feeling of pain in her stomach. She had felt her parents' deaths without knowing it. They had died while she fought that man in her cell.

Still attempting to process that new information, Neri'el turned to see a youngling peering at her through big doe eyes. Recognition sparked in the back of Neri'el's mind. This was Jempa a five-year old Mandalorian she had befriended weeks ago. Neri'el had helped her construct her lightsaber. It was a shimmering purple blade with a silver handle. Simple but beautiful.

"Padawan Aspenstra?" Jempa squeaked, "A-are you okay?"

Neri'el forced a smile and started to nod when reality crashed down around her.

Her parents were dead.

She would never again hear her mother's laugh.

She would never again see her father's loving green eyes that she shared.

She would never again feel their arms around her telling her everything would be alright.

She was alone.

"No," she whispered falling to her knees.

The littler girl walked up to her and put her little arms around Neri'el's shoulders allowing the older girl to cry on her own shoulder. She awkwardly patted Neri'el's back as she shook with sobs. Tears streamed down Neri'el's cheeks as she struggled for breath, feeling terror and confusion and anger course through her.

"It's okay, Neri'el," the little girl whispered in her hair, "We're Jedi now and we can fix anything!"

Neri'el didn't answer as she pulled away wiping her nose on her sleeve. Her green eyes were rimmed with red and her blonde hair hung limply around her tearstained face. She couldn't bear to tell the child that they couldn't fix everything. Not this.

"Thank you, Jempa," she whispered hoarsely, "You should run along now."

Jempa smiled widely up at Neri'el revealing two new gaps in between her baby teeth.

"Bye Neri'el!" she called happily running off to join the other kids, "May the Force be with you!"

Neri'el raised a hand in farewell as she stood up and began to walk to her dorm.

The only thing she wanted right now was to go to bed.

She didn't want to talk to anyone.

Bed was all that mattered.

"Neri'el."

Her breath caught in her throat.

He was still here.

Of course he was. He probably thought Luke had been angry at how long they had taken on their mission and for some reason, blamed her solely.

"Neri'el, are you alright?" Ben's voice asked from ahead of her.

Neri'el didn't answer knowing her voice would betray her. She pushed past her friend towards her chamber.

"Neri'el please talk to me," Ben begged his long legs easily keeping up with hers, "What's wrong?"

"Just, leave, me, alone," she hissed her voice cracking.

Ben stopped short.

"Okay," he said quietly.

Neri'el felt tears ooze out of her eyes and brushed them away angrily as she raced away towards her room. She slammed the door shut behind her and collapsed onto her bed.

Furious sobs escaped her before eventually turning into screams. She screamed into her pillow until her voice died away. Her pillow was soaked with tears and she slowly turned her head to the side to stare out into the dusty room. A photograph stood upright facing her and she felt her chest constrict.

It was of her and her parents. Neri'el looked like she was only eight years old. It was during her first year at the newly created Jedi Temple. Her parents had come to visit her and she had proudly shown off her self-created lightsaber and new robes. They had gone for a picnic near the stream in the courtyard and had taken pictures. Her favorite one was the one on her desk. It showed the small family with their arms wrapped around each other and making goofy faces at the camera.

Tears welled up in Neri'el's eyes and she buried her head once more in her wet pillowcase.

But this time no tears came.

Only screams.