Chapter 14: Lockhart's Idiocy
Since the disastrous episode of the pixies, Professor Lockhart had not brought live creatures to class. Instead, he read passages from his books to them. Today, he decided he wanted to reenact a bit from Wanderings with Werewolves.
"Now, let me see. I'll need a volunteer." He looked around the classroom, not seeming to notice the murderous glares he was receiving from everyone (except Hermione, who still stubbornly refused to see that his looks covered a wizard with little talent and no consideration for others). His eyes settled on Harry. "Mr. Potter! You'll do splendidly. Come up to the front please."
"What for, Professor?" Lockhart seemed taken aback at Harry's question.
"Why, to help me with this reenactment, of course! How else am I to show your fellow students how I managed to defeat the Wagga Wagga Werewolf?"
"I would think," said Draco, "that you would simply show us the memory in a Pensieve." Harry noticed Lockhart's face drain of color.
"Draco," asked Hermione. "What's a Pensieve?"
"A Pensieve is a stone basin engraved with runes that is used to store and review memories. You can extract your own or another person's memories, store them in the Pensieve, and review them later." Hermione turned back to Lockhart.
"That sounds perfect, Professor, far more useful than a reenactment." Lockhart was visibly sweating now.
"Well, you see...I...ah...I do not have a Pensieve at my disposal, so, as that is not an option, I ask again. Harry, would you help me?"
"No, Professor. I refuse to make a fool of myself to remedy your lack of preparedness. You should have ensured that you had a Pensieve available." Lockhart stared at Harry, opening and closing his mouth a few times. Finally, he simply chose to dismiss the class. Everyone packed up quickly and the class began to leave. No one wanted to stay behind in case Lockhart changed his mind. Harry turned to his friends, who were waiting behind.
"Ready?" Harry muttered.
"Wait till everyone's gone," said Hermione nervously. "Besides, I think you had best wait outside. You too, Draco. There was no reason to be so rude, by the way. Now go!"
"All right..." Harry and Draco left as she approached Lockhart's desk, a piece of paper clutched tightly in her hand, Vince and Greg right behind her.
"Er — Professor Lockhart?" Hermione stammered. "I wanted to — to get this book out of the library. Just for background reading." She held out the piece of paper, her hand shaking slightly. "But the thing is, it's in the Restricted Section of the library, so I need a teacher to sign for it — I'm sure it would help me understand what you say in Gadding with Ghouls about slow-acting venoms."
"Ah, Gadding with Ghouls!" said Lockhart, taking the note from Hermione and smiling widely at her. "Possibly my very favorite book. You enjoyed it?"
"Oh, yes," said Hermione eagerly. "So clever, the way you trapped that last one with the tea-strainer —"
"Well, I'm sure no one will mind me giving the best student of the year a little extra help," said Lockhart warmly, and he pulled out an enormous peacock quill.
"Yes, nice, isn't it?" he said, misreading the revolted look on Greg's face. "I usually save it for book-signings." He scrawled an enormous loopy signature on the note and handed it back to Hermione. He followed her out of the classroom and noticed Harry. "So, Harry," said Lockhart, while Hermione folded the note with fumbling fingers and slipped it into her bag. "Tomorrow's the first Quidditch match of the season, I believe? Gryffindor against Slytherin, is it not? I hear you're a useful player. I was a Seeker, too. I was asked to try for the National Squad, but preferred to dedicate my life to the eradication of the Dark Forces. Still, if ever you feel the need for a little private training, don't hesitate to ask. Always happy to pass on my expertise to less able players..."
