Olympic Conquest

Cory - A Change of Scenery

As we fly 30,000 feet in the air, I look outside at the mountains below us. The sight of the majestic geography eases the turmoil in my heart and mind. It makes my troubles seem so minuscule in comparison. Even still, I can't stop worrying about Lainey and her reason for not seeing me. Is she really okay? The unknown is tearing me up inside. 

Does this mean we're over? I see her beautiful face every time I close my eyes, her gentle touch giving me strength I never thought I had. I've never felt this way about a woman before. I love everything about her - how she sees the world in light instead of dark, how she can make something difficult seem so easy, how she finds humor when there should be tears. I don't know what I'll do if she doesn't want to see me again. The thought of losing her... I grasp onto the idea that she just needs time. That's all I've ever wanted in dealing with my own injuries so I have to give her the space to figure things out on her own - even though I feel the distance between us growing with every mile I travel away from her.

And yet, I can't help wondering if I should have stayed and insisted on seeing her? Deep down, my gut tells me to be patient. She has many more things to think about than just our relationship. And I have a lot of work to do on myself. Perhaps a break is exactly what we need?

I look down at the mountain range again and I feel the urge to leap from this plane and onto the pristine snow resting on its peaks.

And before I can filter my thoughts, I ask Martin, "What would it take to be ready for the next Olympics?"

"Excuse me?" Martin leans forward, trying not to look too excited or surprised.

I clear my throat and with more force and resolve, "I asked, what would it take to prepare for the next Olympics?"

"Sorry, I had to hear you say it again as I wasn't sure I was hearing you correctly." Martin laughs, the shock still obvious in his voice.

"Well, are you going to tell me or sit there smiling at me? I know I'm a good looking guy, but can we focus please?" The levity eases the tension hanging over us.

"I hate to break your heart but not everyone wants to sleep with you."

"Can I get you both anything?" a beautiful flight attendant smiles down on us.

I smile back, "I'll have a coke."

"Would you like some bourbon as well? On the house," she flirts.

Martin pipes in, "No, he would not like any bourbon. Thank you."

She nods and walks away to grab the drinks.

"I was wrong. Everyone does want to sleep with you. I can't account for their taste however."

"A little bourbon would have been nice," I say.

"If we're going to get you to the next Olympics, training starts now."

I smile and lean back, thinking I need a huge distraction right now and a run for the next Olympics will be just that. I'm ready to get back into elite skiing form. I know it won't be easy but anything I do at this point will be easier than saying good-bye to Lainey.

As soon as we land in Colorado, I put all of my focus on my rehab. I work out with Martin every day, pushing my body to its extreme limits and even beyond. I crash out when I get home each evening, but I don't let up. I soak in the tub, get as many massages as possible, and try to ice the pain away in my sore muscles. Only I can't seem to find a way to ease the pain in my heart. So I keep moving and ignore Martin's pleas to slow down. He should know by now - I work on instinct and right now, my body is telling me to keep going. Consequences be damned.

"So am I in trouble?" I ask Karen as I slowly take a seat in her office - my muscles so sore at this point I can hardly walk again.

"Why would you be in trouble?" she asks.

"I've seen you and Martin whispering. If you were saying good things, you wouldn't have to whisper."

"I'll be honest, he's concerned about what happened in Los Angeles. He said Lainey wouldn't see you. And now you're working out like a demon. As if you're punishing yourself."

"Damn, I really can't please you people. One second you're on me to ski again and the next you're telling me to ease up. Which is it?"

"We're very happy to see you wanting to compete again. I want to make sure you're approaching it in a healthy way and not using it to run from something. You've been through quite a bit of trauma. It's very easy to ignore how that trauma can affect you mentally. And while you think punishing your body is the answer, I think you may be masking unresolved emotions that will lead to larger problems when you're ready to compete again."

"I see. Put me under the microscope and see what kind of cancers are floating around that may ruin my chances at competing. Can we cut the crap? You could give a shit about my unresolved emotions. What you really want is to make sure your golden boy delivers on that mountain. Well, you don't have to worry about that. I'm working on it. And I'd appreciate it if you'd let me do it my way. Because frankly, your way just pisses me off."

"It must have hurt to have Lainey not want to see you."

"Leave Lainey out of this. I will meet with you and listen to your mumbo jumbo because it's my job. But I won't discuss my personal life with you."

"Is she why you've thrown yourself into your rehab?"

"You know, I could be doing something way more destructive. Is that what you want?"

"No, I want you to try to deal with your feelings for Lainey. I'd like you to start meditating. It's very similar to the visualization exercises you already do. And I'm going to recommend a change of scenery for you and Martin. How does Hawaii sound?"