Pressure

[10] Aiden

This was your breaking point.

Mother expects you to leave tomorrow,

But she was wrong.

You were leaving,

But you wouldn’t be coming back.

First,

You had to tie loose ends.

So you sit beside Katie,

On her front porch.

You apologize,

For the way you treated her.

You hide,

What is really going on.

You know,

The Aiden she loves,

The Aiden you were,

Can never come back.

At least,

Not like this.

So you kiss her,

One final time.

You hug her,

One final time.

You’re with her,

One final time.

You hold back tears,

As you press your forehead to hers.

You whisper,

Three,

Small,

Words.

They were the words you meant,

The words you felt,

The last words you would say.

You tell Katie,

You,

Love,

Her.

You squeeze her hand,

And leave before she knows what’s going on.

Mother screams at you,

As you walk through the front door.

But you ignore it.

You walk past her,

Without saying anything,

And head up to your room.

You put your desk chair,

Under the door knob,

And write your letters.

One,

For Paige.

Because she doesn’t need love,

Especially from Dan,

To be happy.

One,

For Jocelyn.

Because even though at first you disliked her,

She didn’t need to be accepted,

To be happy.

One,

For Nathan.

Because even though you didn’t know him very well,

He didn’t need to provide,

To be happy.

One,

For your parents.

Because perfection,

Is impossible.

Perfection,

Is unattainable.

Perfection,

Is fake.

It is something,

That was created as a lie.

Perfection can never be achieved,

In any possible way.

People,

Can’t be perfect,

No matter how hard they try.

Objects,

Can’t be perfect,

No matter how they are designed.

Love,

Can’t be perfect.

And that’s why your final letter,

Is addressed to Katie.

Because pretty doesn’t come from the outside,

It comes from within.

You kiss her letter,

Before pulling out your razor.

You pile the envelopes neatly on your desk,

But you keep Katie’s in your other hand.

You sit on your bed,

And take a deep breath.

This was it.

But you aren’t scared.

Instead,

You’re at peace.

This is the only way,

You could be happy.

You cut open your arm,

Vertical,

Not the safe horizontal,

And watch the blood stain the sheets.

You can’t help but smirk.

Mother would have a fit.

You hear the doorbell ring,

But you ignore it as you lie on your back.

You feel no pain,

As your vision begins to fade.

The last thing you see clearly,

Is the bright moon,

Shining through your window.

You clutch the envelope tightly,

And dream of memories with Katie.

You hear footsteps on the stairs,

And someone try to open your door.

They call your name,

But you’re too far gone.

Everything,

Turns,

White.

Happiness wraps its arms around you,

As you feel the old Aiden call.

He waves to you,

Yells to you,

Telling you to come.

Far away,

You feel someone squeeze your hand.

You whisper to whoevers there,

That,

You,

Are,

Perfect,

The,

Way,

You,

Are.