Pressure

[9] Paige

You went back,

To,

Dan.

You couldn't help yourself.

After going home to your dead Dad,

Loveless Mom,

And quiet house,

You couldn't stand it anymore.

It was driving you insane.

You are nothing,

Without love.

Nothing,

Without Dan.

So as you lay in bed beside him,

And listen to his breathing,

You question your moves up to this point.

Falling for the first guy,

Who talks to you since your dad's accident,

Wasn't a smart choice.

But you had no one,

And your mom was a wreck.

You needed someone to pick up the pieces,

And Dan was there.

But when you realized he was the worst choice,

Worst move,

Worst guy to be with,

Why did you stay?

If you know this isn’t really love,

Why are you lying next to him?

You sink down under the filthy covers,

And question yourself.

You knew being with Dan is wrong,

But you keep on going back to him.

You crave love,

Yet this isn’t it.

Culture tells you that love is essential,

But if it is,

How come you’re doing fine without it?

The thing you have been craving,

Was never really there.

Dan didn’t give you love.

He gave you hate,

Misery,

Hopelessness.

You hated him,

For hurting you.

You were miserable,

Because he made you this way.

You were hopeless,

Because you thought you needed his love.

All along,

Your mind was clouded,

Like seeing through fog.

You thought Dan,

Was the right guy for you.

But he was just a loser,

Criminal,

Failure,

Who preyed on the desperate,