Pressure

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I love you, Dan.

You say into your cell phone,

Ending your conversation.

All you can hear is your footsteps,

As you head towards home.

For a few moments,

He doesn’t respond.

You worry,

That something’s happened,

That he doesn’t feel the same way.

Yeah, same, bye.

He hangs up, and you put your phone away.

When you get inside,

The house is quiet.

You wander through the house,

Looking for any sign of life.

You find your mom crying in the kitchen.

She’s draped over the table,

Looking at a photograph.

You already know it’s of your Dad.

You don’t comfort your Mom.

Instead, you walk down the hall,

And end up in your room.

Why did he have to die?

How could he leave you,

Abandon you,

Desert you?

All he left you with is Dan.

He is all you have.

Your Mom is a wreck,

Your friends hate you,

And you hate your Dad.

Because he left.

You close your bedroom door,

And open your window.

You reach under your bed,

And pull out a box.

It’s your sanity,

Comfort,

Lifeline.

You take one rolled up paper out,

And sit under your open window.

You light it and inhale.

You breathe okay,

Happy,

Stability.

Drugs weren’t good.

Dad would be disappointed in you.

But it’s his fault,

For leaving.

Hey, babe,

Dan walks through your door,

Shuts it behind him before smoke can escape.

You talked an hour ago on the phone,

But you’re happy he’s here.

He drapes an arm around your shoulders,

And suddenly everything seems okay.

You love him,

Admire him,

Need him.

Without him,

There would be no you.

He keeps you together,

And when you break apart,

He picks up the pieces.

He takes a hit of the joint,

And smiles ear to ear.

You’re so sexy.

His hands reach for you,

And you move away from him.

You didn’t want to fool around,

He always hurts you.

You whisper no,

But it only infuses his anger.

His hand smacks across your cheek,

And your cry out.

But your Mom wouldn’t hear you.

She’s lost in her own world.

Don’t say no to me!

He hits you again,

And you take the pain.

This this time he reaches for you,

And you let him.

Things you don’t want happen,

And you let them.

You know he’s just going to leave when he’s done,

And you let him.

Once he’s gone,

Your cell vibrates.

You look at the text,

And begin to cry.

I forgot to mention,

I got a new job.

You and I are moving away.

Dan.

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