Heartbreak

Chapter Five: Nice Talking To You

(Thackery)

I can't stop from looking to my left, out the window every so often, as I sit up in my bed against the wall reading on my phone. Looking blindly from my dark room only illuminated by my phone towards the trees just outside. Shadows mostly casted everywhere I cannot make anything out. Only outlines from the second floor of the house seeing the tall trees standing where they have for years.

The party ended hours ago and it's thirty minutes pass midnight now. Nothing looks out of the ordinary as the minutes continue to pass by and I wait anxiously for something. I don't know what exactly it is. I'm not sure what it could be or will be but I know all it will take is a small sound like a snap of a branch crunched underneath someone or something walking through the woods out of sight and I'm not willing to fall asleep.

I won't knowing something is planned and has been going on for years I didn't know. I'm even more curious as the minutes go by and there is absolute darkness I never used to be scared of or the silence dragging on.

Maybe I am scared there is no doubt I may be but I want to know the truth. I want to know everything I haven't been told when the regret and guilt in my father's voice gave away to something I can't put to rest.

Besides if I don't find out worst or not then when will I find out anything?

*****

I could see my father had a regretful look on his face the following morning. He didn't seem happy and as much as I wanted to ask why, when I went downstairs to the kitchen as he sat at the table, I chose not to. I wasn't suppose to be listening and I know like every time before he wouldn't answer. He wouldn't tell me the truth because telling me the truth is something he doesn't want to discuss.

Since then I found out nothing back in September and now October is here. Time going by and the last thing on my mind is prying into the secrets in my family when I have other things to distract me.

Like for example sitting here next to Jasper on one side and my family on the other on a day I wasn't looking forward to. Love in the air, suffocating me as I sit here. Wondering again why I said yes to go with Jasper when he probably thinks by sitting together, being here together there is a chance we can be together.

We won't. We can't be when my heart is nowhere close to healed but I guess today seeing happiness someone else may have makes me happy and not jealous. I'm happy for Isabelle and even though we weren't good friends in school I can say now we are.

I only wish today it wasn't hot outside under the sun and Jasper wasn't right beside me as we wait for Isabelle to walk down the aisle. His leg too close to mine I feel uncomfortable wanting this to be over with soon but I know it has only begun. There is an entire day left after the 'I do's' at Isabelle's parent's house in the backyard right after.

*****

I watch Jasper walk off to get something to drink back in the house while I stay where I am. Actually having a good time and I'm glad I came and didn't stay home. "You're Rick's youngest aren't you? Thackery?" someone asks, the same person who talked to my father last month.

I nod my head uncomfortable, wishing I went with Jasper to get something to drink and didn't stay behind.

Suddenly the space between the person I don't know  feels as if it's getting smaller and smaller. I don't feel safe anymore with the grin worn across his face.

A big smile looking at me and I already know without being able to look at my own reflection right now I probably look terrified. "Thought you were. I'm good friends with your par..well your father."

"Okay."

"You always were the quiet one out of your brothers." he says after a silence takes with me lost for words. "Guess it's hard for me to say anything when I don't stop by much to see how you are. I did more when you were little but I guess you don't remember."

"No." I don't have a clue who he is. I don't remember anything about him.

"Yeah I used to stop by a lot and watch you and your brothers until you were about five. Then-"

"Arron, come over here!" Oliver, Isabelle's father, shouts through the crowd grabbing his attention.

I look over to see my father standing near him talking. Whispering to Oliver and I can't hear through the crowd with too much distance and noise all around. "It was nice talking to you Thackery. Maybe I can catch up later with you and your brothers more since I'm back in town with my family." he rushes to say.

"Yeah okay." I reply as he takes off in their direction leaving me wondering what has my father worried.

Why did he have Oliver call someone, who he considered a friend and trusted enough to watch me as a child, away from me? Does it concern the conversation they had last month or is it something else? Is he worried Arron is going to tell me something my father apparently doesn't want me to know?

"Hey," another voice pulls me away from staring over at my father who is blocked from my vision with someone else in front of me.

"Hey," I reply back to Dominick, wondering what's taking Jasper forever.

"I'm so bored. Aren't you?" he makes conversation.

"It's okay." I answer honestly, trying to have a good time.

"Yeah for you because you came with Jasper and I'm dateless." he explains bringing up Jasper and his dateless attendance but I'm not on a date with Jasper.

"It's not a date. We're friends." I sound like I'm trying to deny something and am on defense on hiding something that isn't even true but it is. I"m not on a date with Jasper. I told him we were going as friends and that's it.

Didn't I?

"Oh wow. I thought you two were together." he laughs.

"What? Why would you think that?" What has Jasper been telling people?

"I don't know." he shrugs, "Because you always hang out and you're all he talks about."

"He talks about me a lot?" I say in disbelief.

Am I truly this blind to see all along he likes me this much and wasn't simply okay with just friends? Am I really the last to know these things lost in my own world?

"Yeah. All the time." he replies.

I bite my bottom lip staring down at the ground beneath me. Regret washing over me of making Jasper think by spending time together as friends I like him. Now other people think we are together and that's not what I wanted. Jasper isn't a bad person but I don't want to be in a relationship. I only want friends in my life right now which I never really had before.

Of course I can't even do that right when I have Jasper thinking I like him back or at least I will one day and that's not true. "I thought I told him I only wanted to be friends." I look back up.

"You can't blame him for liking you though." Dominick smiles.

"Why?" Am I missing something?

"Never mind." he mumbles, his eyes looking behind me and before I can ask him to tell me Jasper shows up with two drinks in hand.

"Here's your drink." Jasper says handing it over as I wonder to myself what took him long enough for two conversations to be left hanging in the air.